1 ornithological_sketch_cabinet72ppi1 1-new-objectivity aiveen_daly_paradise_chair bauble-table-tall constellation_cvl_by_e_cathelineau_4 curiousa_oshka lustred-pendants ruisseau

Bank holiday, and the sun is shining. In England. Talk about your once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. I however seem to be living in my own very tiny bubble of entropy. I’m going through one of those periods when I have a deleterious effect on electrical devices. It sounds unlikely but you have to witness it to believe it. Everything electronic just starts playing up, it’s bizarre. I get locked out of computers, the systems crash, passwords I’ve been using for years don’t work. Mozilla Firefox has arbitrarily decided that my Pinterest Pin button is corrupt and disabled it. For a blogger, that’s a disaster of mega-proportions. Let’s just say I’m not getting into a self-driving Tesla anytime soon. I’ve figured out over the years that it’s just a physical manifestation of a metaphysical occurrence so I don’t get freaked out anymore, and it usually only lasts a couple of days – with intense prayer and fasting ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s jolly annoying though. I think some research should be carried out into whether human beings can affect silicon chips- one of those ‘Men who stare at goats’ – style CIA experiments. I’m not volunteering though, sinister underground labs lack the design รฉlan I regard as essential for everyday living.

Listeria hysteria? That refers to the coverage about microbeads in the papers. 300000 gazillion in every tube of toothpaste! We’re all going to die under a deluge of microbeads!! From a scientific point of view, I have no doubt that microbeads are probably not good for fauna or maybe even flora for that matter, but the reports are long on hysteria and hyperbole, and short on scientific fact. The oceans and beaches are full of microbeads. OK. Fish are ingesting them and we are eating the fish. OK. The effects of ingested microbeads on fish? Er, dunno. The effects of ingested microbeads on humans? Er, pass. Are microbeads passed through the intestinal system with no harmful effects or does each and everyone dispose us to cancer, etc, etc? Er, pass. Never mind cancer, if I were you I’d be worrying if they cross the blood-brain barrier. Now that’s cheery! Mind you, the last portion of fish and chips I ate was kinda plastic…….

It all reminds me of the Edwina Currie ‘Listeria in Eggs’ debacle from the ’80s; that particular unedifying incident decimated the poultry industry for years. Never mind microbeads, there are over 80,000 chemicals in everyday use in the West. None of them are vitamins. As for transfats, go and look at something called the 10-year cardiovascular risk if you want to scare yourself to death. So, microbeads – ban them obviously, it’s a no-brainer. Cumulative ingestion of polyethylene is not something the human gut is set up to deal with. But please, please, some actual science so we can have ‘safe’ part per million values. As for the ‘blurred’ pictures of supposedly unidentifiable products in the papers, all I’ll say is if I owned Neutrogena, I’d be spitting tacks. Their products seem to feature a bit more frequently than the law of averages would predict, but are no worse than any of the others on the market in this respect. Maybe it’s just sloppy journalism…..

All AlaraApothecary products are microbead-free of course. That goes without saying. So are my selection of new products from the Decorex show. Please do not chew on the furniture if you wish to maintain peak health ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a bright and sunny week.

(Photos: Ornithological Sketch cabinet;New Objectivity stools, Amy Somerville; Paradise chair, Aiveen Daly; Bauble table, Amy Somerville; Constellation light, Emile Cathelineau; Oshka pendants, Curiosa & Curiosa; Lustred pendant, Lyngard Ceramics; Ruisseau rug, Atelier Pinton)

1 lg display 2 fikkisimo 3 almira sadar 3 AuAgmetalcraft 4 aride desk lamp 5 Chandelier-5-Petit-LuXiole

No, not Christmas. I wouldn’t mention that to you in August, I wouldn’t be that cruel. Besides, AlaraApothecary: we worship God, not mammon ๐Ÿ™‚ No, it’s the season for the interior design shows in London, and for the first time in aeons, I might not attend due to work pressures. Quelle horreur! Is Decorex even Decorex if I am not in attendance? Answers on a postage stamp please. I will be covering the most interesting new designs/designers though, so you won’t have to miss out altogether. I love the crazy onion lamp in particular. AlaraApothecary: we plough through design detritus so you don’t have to.

My only consolation is that I have finally started designing again; I’m even painting in my sleep which is as cool as it sounds. My dream paintings are better and easier to paint than my reality ones, sob. I’ve also been hanging with a particularly amazing group of people so I’m as happy as a sandboy. If only they would iron out some itsy-bitsy little quirks…… All I will say at the moment Notorious.M, is that no matter what you have been left to believe by the other crazy people, treating your domestic pharmaceuticals as though your bathroom cabinet is a lab is NOT normal. And don’t even start me off about the Romanian mouse incident! Ye gods and little fishes, I’m speed-dialling PETA. And before you think you’re getting off lightly Kathy, chlorine is not a scent. Lay off the bleach and bake lots more Brownies – these are simple rules, you should have no trouble remembering them. Brownies, divine; Bleach, not so wooftastic, as Lise would say. Have a fab and groovy week, y’all.

(Photos: Lights by LG display; Fikkisimo concrete furniture; Almira Sadar pouffes: AuAgmetal teapot; Aride lamp desk; Petit-Luxiole chandelier)

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Andrea's Kitchen

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I’m sorry I dropped out of circulation for a while there. I was moving home: yes, that nice, restful exercise. Just the thing to bring my stress levels down. I returned from Jersey on a Thursday and had to find a new home, arrange movers and packers, and move by the next week’s Saturday. Intense? You bet!

Eventually I entered a sort of Zen-zone. The wardrobes don’t fit up the stairs in the new house? No problemo, give them to the movers and put your 40 million items of clothing on the bed in the spare room. I currently do not possess a fridge, freezer or washing machine and I’m too busy to even worry about it. I’m all set to cope with the apocalypse, for reals. Exaggerate? Moi? I wish! Scientists, kindly pull your fingers out and sort out teleportation already. You guys and gals are champion slackers ๐Ÿ™‚

These are the pictures from my new home. Just kidding! Still, I am very happy with the house, and I’ve put in these images to brighten up your day. Have a terrific day.

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Back in sunny London – hurrah and huzzah! I have had a million things to sort out, hence my absence from the blogosphere, but I’m Baaaack. I am appalled at the way people have been taking liberties while I’ve been distracted. Rich people have been indulging their usual taste-deficient ways, they really need to be stopped. From Mr Green’s taste-free mega-yacht to art auctions, the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Exhibit A- the bed in the above pictiure. For the girl ( I hope!) whose parents have everything but taste. Exhibit B- The Jeff Koons sculpture. Now, I have my issues with some modern art but I like these sculptures, they make me smile. However, less funny or perhaps even funnier, depending on how you look at it, is that the above sculpture recently sold for $59 million. I am constantly amazed by what people would rather have than cash. 59,000,000 smackeroos. You need to imagine paying for it in $20 bills and you see how insane it is. You hand over a container-load of $20 bills and then leave with that sculpture under your arm. It’s the best Dadaist joke that never was. When you imagine how many clinics you could build in the developing world for that money, or how many children you could educate, it doesn’t seem all that funny after all. God shows what He thinks of money through the people He chooses to give it to (says the penniless, bitter entrepeneur ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Here on the other hand are some beautiful items made by talented designers, all exhibited in the most recent design shows.

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I was having a whinge-fest about places I’ve lived in with some friends. One is a newly-arrived expat from Kenya. She’s refusing to believe winter will arrive, having seen what passes for summer in England. Total denial. ( Don’t even start me off about Egypt ๐Ÿ™‚ Sorry, couldn’t resist). Anyway, it reminded me of one of my favourite poems. Dear angry Orcadians, please don’t write in. I’m sure the Orkneys is now chock-a-block with pulled pork and avocados and 64 genders, just like the rest of the world. More fool you! Y’all have a lovely week now.

Bloody Orkney (Captain Hamish Blair)

This bloody town’s a bloody cuss
No bloody trains, no bloody bus,
And no one cares for bloody us
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody roads are bloody bad,
The bloody folks are bloody mad,
They’d make the brightest bloody sad,
In bloody Orkney.

All bloody clouds, and bloody rains,
No bloody kerbs, no bloody drains,
The Council’s got no bloody brains,
In bloody Orkney.

Everything’s so bloody dear,
A bloody bob, for bloody beer,
And is it good? – no bloody fear,
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody ‘flicks’ are bloody old,
The bloody seats are bloody cold,
You can’t get in for bloody gold
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody dances make you smile,
The bloody band is bloody vile,
It only cramps your bloody style,
In bloody Orkney.

No bloody sport, no bloody games,
No bloody fun, the bloody dames
Won’t even give their bloody names
In bloody Orkney.

Best bloody place is bloody bed,
With bloody ice on bloody head,
You might as well be bloody dead,
In bloody Orkney

 

 

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