Merry Christmas

Picture of the year so far is that of the Christmas tree in the centre of Aleppo. I’m certain it’s one none of us thought we would see any time soon, and it is wonderfully encouraging in a time of constant bad news and turmoil. I pray for peace for all the citizens of Syria, Yemen, Nigeria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya. Wouldn’t that be tremendous?

AlaraApothecary wishes you all a wonderful, joyous, and peaceful Christmas. May 2017 be a better year for us all. I leave you with some inspirational work from hardworking artisans, all based in Britain.

The Rocking Horse Shop in Fangfoss, North Yorkshire make amazing rocking horses.

This is one of Dee Nickerson’s beautifully evocative paintings. Don’t buy any rubbish mass-produced prints, buy from Dee instead!

Last but not the least, Alice Walton makes lovely stoneware pieces. I particularly like these lustred dishes. Hope you all have a fabulous day. Merry Christmas. Happy birthday, Jesus 🙂

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Light Of The World

 

I have administered over 100 flu vaccines this winter but of course did not bother to get one myself. So, guess what? Yep, I have the flu. You’d need a heart of stone not to laugh. Here I am surrounded by enough Pseudoephedrine to start my own Crystal Meth lab and I’m as high as a kite on overdoses of Vitamin C – raspberry flavoured effervescent Vitamin C. Where has this elixir of the gods been all my life? I’m working on recipes for Vitamin C cocktails. This is the drink the world has been crying out for, albeit sotto voce 🙂

The flu has has been triggered by the unnatural amount of fresh air I’ve been imbibing, walking everywhere. That wretched stuff combined with exercise will kill you, I’ve always maintained that and now I have proof! It didn’t help that I went Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve, something I’ve avoided for years. I won’t make these mistakes again, no sirree. People were being their usual crazy selves in the shops – apparently not getting that last pack of M&S turducken slice would spell eternal doom. One of the assistants in the chocolatier I visited told me they are open till 10pm. Seriously, where is the urgent need for luxury chocolates that can only be met by keeping shops open till 10pm? Totally ridiculous. I would be remiss in my duty if I didn’t bring you this year’s epitome of what Christmas is not about. It’s the Christmas tree at the Emirates Palace hotel in Dubai which has been festooned with £7 million worth of gems. It has its own security guards, of course. At least they have the excuse of not being Christians; what’s our excuse?  I searched high and low for Christmas cards showing anything except Santa, Victoriana, or obscene jokes. I did find some of the the wise men but they of course are bearing gifts so that’s OK.

Peace was restored by the magical carol service I attended. So, if you can’t find this year’s must-have trinket or bauble, fear not. In 100 years, it’ll all be landfill anyway. Find a carol service and escape the madness for an hour or two. I leave you with a couple of verses from one of my favourites:

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold!
Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From heaven’s all gracious King!
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world hath suffered long;
Beneath the angel-strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love song which they bring:
O hush the noise, ye men of strife,
And hear the angels sing.

In honour of the Light of the World, here are images from an incredible installation at the Broad Museum in Los Angeles (most appropriate 🙂 ) Yayoi Kusama’s ”Infinity Mirrored Room – The Souls of Millions of Light Years Away”

Have a peace-filled week. Pip pip.

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Beyond Parody

1d 1a 1b 1c

A week of absurdities. First off the mark is the revered, indeed reverend Tony Blair informing us that he is ready to get back into politics, planning his comeback as an ‘insurgent’, to right all the wrongs which have accumulated since his much-lamented departure. I fear that reality and Tony are now complete strangers. However, looking at the tip-top job he has done as Middle East Peace Envoy, making the whole region so peaceful and utopian, it’s everyone’s first choice for a holiday spot, I can only say, ‘You’ve got my vote, Tony. Your people need you!’ Those whom the gods would destroy……

Much less amusing was the announcement that £370 million has been allocated for repairs to Buckingham Palace in the week when a 36-year old homeless man froze to death on the street in Birmingham. Of course the richest, most pampered family in the land should have its plumbing fixed by the general public. Scraping by on a meagre £40,000,000 a year, who can afford to fix the roof? Luckily, there are countless people living lives of unremitting luxury on £20,000 per family who are thrilled to give generously at this time of need. That’s the Christian principle in a nutshell – take from the poor and give to the rich. It’s what Baby Jesus would have wanted.

Elsewhere, I have been surrounded by anarchists this week. There was the fellow churchgoer (a pillar of the AV system team 🙂 ) causing havoc as my poor vicar tried to expatiate on the message of Christingle. Asked what the shape of the orange which symbolises the world was, she replied ‘Square’. Then there was the memo from a cabinet meeting between the PM Theresa May, and the cabinet secretary Jeremy Heywood, stating that there were too many leaks from cabinet meetings and laying out the dire consequences for anyone who dared to leak anything in the future – starting with the sack, tarring and feathering, before the culprit is hanged, drawn and quartered. The security forces i.e MI5, MI6 etc etc would be watching everyone like a hawk, downloading their emails and phone logs etc etc. Eek! You guessed it – someone promptly leaked the letter to the papers 🙂 I am an anar-chist! It warms the cockles of the heart to see such subversive behaviour in high places. Maybe we aren’t quite ready to be twinned with North Korea yet…..

I leave you with a couple of gloomy poems which always make me smile. The first was written by the incomparable Dorothy Parker:

Resumé

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
The second is by Stevie Smith:
To an American Publisher
You say I must write another book? But I’ve just written this one.
You liked it so much that’s the reason? Read it again then.
Have a fabulous week, one and all.

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