Well, last week was pretty ghastly. Not that anything in particular happened but it was just filled with conflict and stress and fatigue. My tolerance level seemed to have diminshed significantly; you know when you have that feeling that you’re surrounded by buzzing bees and can’t get away? The only time I didn’t feel like that was when I felt like a bird dashing itself against the door of a cage. And yet, nothing really happened to precipitate this; just battle-fatigue. So, by last night my prayers had become something along the lines of…. “This is crazy, I’m so exhausted, why is everything so difficult, you said, you said, do as you promised, do as you promised…. (ad nauseaum for 45 minutes)” Quite frankly, if I were God, I’d have a mute button. It would be: “Dearest Father, it’s me again. Let me tell you about my awful day. First of all…..” CLICK! 🙂 Fortunately for me, God is not like me. Crashed out on the sofa, went to bed at 5am (don’t ask). Had one of those wonderful anxiety dreams when you’re sitting your finals but don’t have time to get to the hall…. Awesome. I haven’t had one of those for yonks. So, I did not wake up refreshed. Woke up an hour before the alarm time thinking what the helling hell. Thought, OK, read Isaiah 40 again, it’s what I read last night and it’s a firm favourite. Opened the Bible, Psalm 121 “I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord”. Me to God, “well, you can forget that for a start” Scowl. 🙁

So, I ran my bath, put in half a litre of Jasmine & Citron bath oil, lolling in the bath, reading magazines, and came across the excerpt above, illustrated with a picture of our products. The very first article in my entire born life that name-checked Alara Apothecary. I didn’t even know that they’d visited our stockist. How thrilled was I? You’ve no idea. And yes, I know it’s Somerset Living, not Vogue, but it is so thrilling and I’ve learnt to count my blessings. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a small cloud the size of a man’s hand. And God said, “You were saying?”, and I said, “I’m  natural born idiot, I repent in dust and ashes”. And yes, I did go to the evening service, and yes, the final song was from Isaiah 40, as was the random text a friend sent me this afternoon. Surely God is good to Israel, and to me also. Have a week full of blessings and divine grace.

Extinction Rebellion chaos at Marble Arch

Easter weekend was odd because I read about the Sri Lanka bombings just before I left for church. Those poor people, just going about their business. It was one of the few occasions when I actually stopped to consider that it is now conceivable that I might go to church one day and just never come back. Usually I just disregard the dangers but this one made me focus  because I was literally at the front door when I read about it. What a world we live in. Same as in all the previous instances, these terrorists or whoever turns out to be responsible won’t even make a dent in how most of us live – the sheer pointlessness of it all is soul-destroying. My prayers and those of billions of others go out to all the people affected as well as all the others living through a nightmarish existence in so many  parts of the world.

London was a lot quieter than usual – I think a lot more people went away this Easter. It was wonderful driving through the empty streets until I came across the random Extinction Rebellion closures. I’m afraid the air turned rather blue in car. Read more

Agnus Dei; Francisco de Zurbarán 

Ecce Homo; Mark Wallinger

Once in a while, we encounter a phenomenon that seems to impact the whole world even if we are not directly involved. 9/11 is an obvious example, the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral seems to be another. Coinciding with Holy Week, it has touched a chord that most people did not even know existed in them. What I found interesting was the many questions that have arisen since the fire: does it matter if an old church burns down when people no longer worship in it in any meaningful sense? Does God care? What are people so distraught about – the fact that a monument with artistic value is destroyed, or is the distress because it is believed to be a cornerstone of faith and ‘God’s house’? Thus far, the donations pledged have topped $1,000,000,000. One billion dollars and counting, and that is regarded as a ‘good start’. The billionaires of France have been subject to much calumny after pledging 300 million Euros on the first day: the general sense seems to be that they are hypocrites trying to buy salvation. Now, I do not know the people involved and therefore cannot assess their piety but even if I did know them, I would not presume to know what is in their heart. I am in no position to judge another man’s servant. Read more

This should be the featured imaged. The blasted programme won’t let me set it as such. Grrrr…..

Finally back to normal- sort of. Came home after the Fair just in time to tussle with some governmental filing madness. A more paranoid person than I am could easily come to believe that the government is trying to ruin their life. What do you mean ‘where would you find a more paranoid person?’ I get no respect, truly 🙂 Spent the best part of the week trying to negotiate the halls of bureaucracy. Double blimey, that’s all I’ll say. I just pray it’s all fixed this week. I went straight back to work so I’m totally wasted; today was my first day off in about 3 weeks. The joys of entrepeneurship. Last night I finally slept the sleep of the just. It was wonderful. My lastest project is to obtain some product photographs that are not a sincere embarassment. As I am often told (thanks guys!), my photos are seriously dragging this website down. Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic…. Read more