Who Are You?

Wells Cathedral, Somerset

Hurrah for the weekend. I’m totally worn out but now I have some time off next week. Hurrah and Huzzah! Of course I shan’t actaually be resting or anything as frivolous as that – I’m perfecting some new facial skincare lines so watch this space. For this weekend though, I am doing absoultely nothing, zip, nada ……except this blog of course. It’s been another bonkers week in BrexitLand but I won’t bore you with the tedious chicanery of our dimwitted politicians. My favourite spectacle was seeing a self-important MP getting hoisted with his own petard. Having obviously set up an ambush for the PM’s adviser Dominic Cummings, with TV crew in tow, it was hilarious to see a bemused Dominic watching his antics without a clue as to who this lunatic was. Cue deflation of MP with Dominic saying ‘I don’t know who you are’ and asking his companion, ‘Who is this guy?’ Can anyone say insignificant nonentity? I laughed like a drain as I saw Mr Cummings begin to get the distinct look of a man chained to a maniac as the MP ranted at him. Comedy gold. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8FAhyQEJRI

Adorable poppet cutie of the week award goes to Theo, a 2½ -year old taking part in an acting masterclass with Brian Cox. I’m always amazed by what incredibly good mimics very young children can be. That’s why we don’t go about effing and blinding in their vicinity, not that I eff and blind of course, being so posh and all that 🙂 This is one of my favourite Shakespearean set-pieces. How swanky do I sound, having favourite Shakesperean soliloquies? Says in fruity, actorly voice, ‘Oh yah, soliloquies are my thing, don’t you know.’ I have to say that I’m more your take up arms, death-to-my-enemies, drink aquavit out of their skulls kinda girl. I’m certain that is why I was dragooned into Christianity so early- God obviously took a look and said ‘Let’s get this one double-quick before she can carry out her scorched earth, salt-their-fields tendencies.’ I digress 🙂 Anyway, here are Brian and Theo in their glory. The pure, clear logic of a small child – “To be, or not to be. That is the question” “Yeah, it is” Priceless. Have a wonderful weekend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loDMRzPiCic

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Oyez, Oyez, Winners Alert

Skincare of Champions
Nearly there……

Dear readers, longest time. And where have I been? Having adventures? Hmm, of a sort. First of all, congratulations to Marita, Rosie and Gilly, winners of the Beauty Bible fab prezzies you see above. Hope you love the products as much as we do; I look forward to your orders for weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations etc etc 🙂 Commiserations to those who did not get picked – we had a bumper 8400 entries. Yep, you read that right, 8400. So, I hope you will forgive us for not picking everybody. On the plus side, The Beauty Bible is always choc-a-bloc with chances to win some fabulous goodies, I’ve been known to enter a prize draw or two myself. Make sure that you subscribe to their site – it’s the must-read for all things beauty. I will be letting all the entrants know the next time we run a prize draw ourselves so you may yet win something…..

So, where have I been? Well, a fortnight ago I went to a birthday party. Coming home, bang, a car accident. My second in 20-odd years of driving. Unbelievable. Thankfully no one was hurt and as the other car hit me and slid past, all my car had was a tiny ding on the bumper and a smear of his paintwork. Insurance exchange, no cuts, no bruises. Drove home. Driving to work on Monday morning, car starts jumping about after 10 minutes. What the helling hell??? Pull over, no lights on the dashboard, no indication of the problem. Managed to get it to the mechanic on a wing and a prayer. When I didn’t hear from them by 3pm, I knew it was bad news. Automatic gear box gone, not fixable, replacement 2K + labour. So, car totalled, needs scrapping. Time for some enjoyable bus journeys to work– not. I’d been praying for a new car for ages anyway so I received this as the gift from God that it was. By Wednesday, I’d had to shell out for a new car. However, when life gives you lemons, you gotta make lemonade so I got the SUV I’d been aching to buy all along. I salved my eco-conscience when I realised its emissions level was way lower than my previous jalopy. What with this year’s unfunny cancer scare and car accidents, you gotta hope for the best and plan for the worst so I went right ahead and got the car. It’s a beaut, love at first sight and it’s black which is the only real colour worth having except for red which is only allowed if it’s a Ferrari. Yes, I love all your trendy colours (except grey which makes me suicidal), I just don’t want them for myself, thankee kindly.

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The King Is In The Altogether

Fabulous view from Megavissey harbour
Tom Ford A/W 2019. Not really; Diggory the scarecrow, Heligan Gardens
Apple tree for you hardcore urbanites out there
Perfect Hydrangeas, Heligan Gardens
Also for the urbanites: Shallots in the ground, not in Waitrose 🙂

I finally made it to Cornwall, and yes, it did not disappoint. Actually, I think Somerset countryside is prettier; Cornwall is lovely but it’s wilder and the vegetation is darker-hued but THAT SEA! It is ridiculously lovely. I had to keep cautioning myself to keep my eyes on the road every time I happened upon an unexpected sea vista. I am a water baby, mos’ def. I was there for the bank holiday weekend and managed to cram loads in: St.Austell, Padstow, Megavissey, The Heligan Gardens – all excellent. I gave the Eden Project a miss because I was sick of being hectored by their leaflets – I hate being beaten over the head by all that eco stuff. Besides, I was warned that it would be packed with screaming kids. Maybe next time. I even made it to the Rick Stein restaurant. I went to the cafe, the seafood restaurant was too rich for my blood. £45 for a dish of Turbot is a bit steep for us wage slaves but it looked lovely. The cafe was excellent, the food was incredibly fresh – I ate the salt & pepper prawns (amazing sauce) and the Meen Kulambu Cod curry. Fab, as the great man would say. Plus an amazing Affogato to finish- highly recommended.

Since then of course, we’ve all been deluged by Brexit madness. The situation is now so preposterous that we have the Labour spokeswoman telling us that they plan to depose Boris, install Jeremy Corbin, get a deal with the EU, and then vote against their own deal as they wish to remain. Is it just me? As for the viciousness of the personal attacks on Boris Johnson and the cabinet, all I can say is Wow! Of course their hope is to get him to resign which I sincerely hope he will not do. I guess we’ll finally see if he’s serious about honouring the referendum vote or if he’s been a stalking horse for Remain all the time. Witnessing the self-immolation of our political class has been a sight to behold. And you know what, we are still going to leave. There is no power on this Earth that can prevent it, irrespective of what knavish tricks are employed. As for his brother’s treacherous behaviour, quelle surprise. It’s always the way; the ultimate betrayal is always by a sibling or a close friend. They’re the only ones who can ever close enough to be wielded as a weapon by one’s enemies. National hero or stalking horse, Boris will be remembered and his brother will not even feature as a footnote in history.

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