Dr Strangelove lives

Having survived what can only be described as a perfectly ghastly week which was made bearable by the lovely people I work with, Saturday has arrived like a beacon in the darkness. It’s cold outside, and the world is apparently going to hell in a handbasket…again. I thought I would cheer you all up by reporting that scientists have discovered that seasickness can be warded off by applying what they call ‘ a short electric shock‘ to the head just before you get on the boat. The comedy applications of this are obviously limitless. Apparently, they are now trying to develop a smaller gadget that can plug into your mobile phone, thereby providing the portable electrocution device the world has been crying out for. What could go wrong when you are administering electric shocks in the wettest environment you can envisage?

This is why I love science and scientists so much. Whatever they are being paid, it’s not enough. I should admit that the scientific principle is actually very sound. However, that takes all the fun out of the scenario. I leave you with a quote from the Daily Mail- ‘A mild electric shock to the scalp makes the feelings of nausea go away, according to experts at Imperial College London’. Yep, that’s because you’ve just toppled into the Solent in shock.

Study leader Dr Qadeer Arshad, of Imperial’s department of medicine, said: ‘We are confident that within five to 10 years people will be able to walk into the chemist and buy an anti-seasickness device.

‘It may be something like a TENS [transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation] machine that is used for back pain.‘We hope it might even integrate with a mobile phone, which would be able to deliver the small amount of electricity required via the headphone jack.

You might want to make a mental note not to put your phone in your jeans pocket. To all the singletons out there, I should mention that the chances of you hooking up with your narcissistic object-choice after they’ve seen you applying electrodes to your temples are precisely nil, or maybe not……… Scientists everywhere, I want you to know my love for you knows no bounds.