Winter Solstice: Fake News!

Winter solstice, we just had it right? December 21st; shortest day of every year. Can anyone explain to me why we are then currently getting only 6 or 7 minutes of daylight at the moment? I am so over winter, I can’t tell you. Meanwhile my electricity supplier is sending out random bills with figures they’ve made up; I suppose it’s a bit of a lark just to see if I’m crazy enough to pay them, no questions asked. It snowed in the Sahara…. what is wrong with this picture? This of course affords me a wonderful opportunity to taunt the global-warmists in a very childish way. It’s not global warming anymore, you say? It’s climate change now, is it? Ever since the world’s temperature plunged and polar bears are now roaming the streets of London? Tee hee. What easy marks.

So, how to survive this crazy weather? First of all, you need to start watching ‘Death in Paradise’. Yes, the plots are preposterous, it’s basically Agatha Christie in Guadeloupe. But, have you seen the views? It’s pure eye-candy for a sun-starved populace, and it’s silly, funny, and utterly unrealistic. It’s totally tropical in a way that makes Lilt look like Irn Bru. Secondly, do not start some insane detox programme. Siberia is warmer that England, have you lost your mind? Suet, and lots of it, that’s what we need. As a healthcare professional, I should insert some healthy living stuff at this point. I offer this below:

That is an actual fact, if you don’t take into account that it is completely untrue. I leave you with the fabulous W.C Fields in ‘The Fatal Glass of Beer’; I love this silly skit. It  always makes me laugh, it’s so ridiculous. I bet you feel warmer already. Have a good one.