Sometimes I feel as though I am in one of those bubbles, swimming in shark-infested waters. I was in a supermarket yesterday, one of the big four. In front of me  was a middle-aged woman complaining in stentorian tones about the fact that the last lot of loo rolls she had purchased ‘was packed too tightly in the package. And I’m not the only one, many people feel the same, so you need to sort it’. My questions are: what did the she think that this poor woman who spends 8 hours on her feet everyday, selling newspapers and cigarettes for the minimum wage, could do to alter the packaging protocols of Unilever, Procter & Gamble, or whomever? And who are these morons with strong feelings about the tight packaging of loo rolls, and do they have a support group? Is this not a prime example of First World problems, where the biggest issue you have is how to remove your loo roll from its packaging? I restricted myself to giving her what I like to refer to as ‘an eloquent look’. And yes, she did flinch, which was extremely gratifying. I did not launch into my usual ‘Don’t talk to her like that!’, as it contravenes my ongoing resolution to never get into an argument with a crazy or stupid person – they just bring you down to their level, and leave you incoherent with rage.

Of course she did not believe that the girl could solve her issue. She just wanted an easy target to berate, and who better than the poor employee who cannot answer back where ‘the customer is always right’. I thought the assistant was very restrained in not fetching a haddock from the temptingly handy fish counter, and slapping her around the head a few times. Yes, you’ll lose your job, but what a way to go 🙂 The assault charges would of course be something else………Commiserating with the assistant who reacted to my sympathy in a guarded manner, obviously suspecting that I might be the dreaded mystery shopper, she just shrugged and said ‘You just let it was over you’. And I thought, ‘Does it really, though? 20 years of letting it ‘wash over you’, and who do you become?’ To quote David Gray, ‘It takes a lot of love my friend, to keep your heart from freezing, to push until the end’. The world seems to be full of angry, unhappy people whose sole raison d’être is  to make other people as angry and as unhappy as they are. Seeing a smiling face is like waving the metaphorical red rag in front of a bull as far as they are concerned. This week brought to mind a quote from The Social Contract, “Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains. One thinks himself the master of others, and still remains a greater slave than they.” Unless of course, the Son sets you free; then you are free indeed.

And yet, and yet. This week alone, a favourite customer came to me, told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. After issuing many threats, I complied, and she put a box of handmade fudge into my hands. I saw a rainbow set against thunderclouds, the colours shading and fusing into one another.  A little pal came in to show me her missing teeth. One had fallen out naturally, and she ‘encouraged’ the second one by pulling it out, thereby scoring £3 from the tooth fairy. First of all, £3!!!! Talk about inflation. Plus, what a budding entrepeneur, I’m so proud of her 🙂 I did not tell her where her kidneys are, in case she gets any bright ideas…..She displayed these gaps, and just like that, I was six years old again, and probing a wobbling tooth with my tongue until it eventually gave up. Magic.

I leave you with this set of images from South Africa, showing a lioness who had lost her own cubs, and who rescued and protected a newly-born springbok that had been rejected by its mother. Have a wonderful week.

Blue Monday? Wasn’t it just? My day at work felt like a 20-hour day. Absolute nightmare. I cheered myself up by remembering all the blue stuff I love. When I look at my paintings, I’m always surprised at how prevalent the colour blue is. So, sucks to Monday being blue, I love all things blue. There’s the amazing album by The Beautiful South. It’s a genius album with some of the most depressing lyrics I’ve ever heard set to jaunty, lilting music:

Liitle Blue:

You don’t back a horse called Striding Snail
You don’t name your boat Titanic II
So why when I see your happy smiling face
Do I always end up singing Little Blue

Little Blue, how do you do
Your smile looks like heaven
But your eyes hold a storm about to brew
Little Blue
How can a flower so pretty
Be so laden down with dew
Little Blue

Then there are my boys Elvis Costello & The Attractions and their equally wonderful Country album, ‘Almost Blue’:

Brown To Blue:

We stood there in the courthouse room so close but far apart
You brought along the lawyer and I brought a broken heart
The judge pronounced the words the way you wanted him to do
You changed your name from Brown to Jones and mine from Brown to Blue

I couldn’t help my tears from falling on the courtroom floor
My love, they took away my right to love you anymore
My world just seemed to stop as I stood there so close to you
You changed your name from Brown to Jones and mine from Brown to Blue

Pure genius. How can I leave out ‘Starry Night’ by Van Gogh? It’s an amazing painting. When you look at it. you can hardly breathe – or maybe that’s just me. I also love Yves Klein Blue, the colour. Those tables of his are truly beautiful but they are some ridiculous price so I’ll have to DIY one some fine day.

No paean to the colour blue can exclude the sea and the sky. I bring you Coconut Beach in Badagry, Lagos. The sand, the palm trees, the Atlantic ocean, and that big, big, sky in both that picture and the one of Montana. AlaraApothecary, we colour you beautiful. Have a fabulous weekend.