Finally got the official all-clear today; I definitely do not have skin cancer. I knew already anyway because God Himself told me in church last week. I freaked out, the people praying for me freaked out – it was amazing, comical and downright terrifying, all at the same time. Turns out we believe in God, we just never expect Him to actually show up. But that’s a story for another day. It was still incredibly good to hear the words, ‘It’s definitely not cancer’ Plus, a lady pulled up and gave me her half-used parking ticket which exactly covered the expected duration of my appointment so I didn’t even have to pay for parking. In London. If that alone isn’t divine intervention, I don’t know what is 🙂
So I am one happy bunny. I celebrated by playing Michael Jackson’s ‘Dangerous’ album at top volume all the way home, and then ate my own body weight in sushi. It’s my birthday this weekend and it feels pretty good to not be saying my farewells so thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Watching the ridiculous political sheenanigans we are being subjected to, I just wish I could personally impress on these idiots how easily life can turn on a sixpence. They act as though they will live forever and will never answer for their deeds. It turns out that Boris Johnson is indeed the stalking horse I suspected he was. As soon as I saw that photograph where he was surrounded by the EU leaders and they were all slapping him on the back like a long-lost son, I knew he’d collected his 30 pieces of silver. He confirmed it a couple of days ago by taking the threat of No Deal out of the Tory manifesto, leaving us with the rubbish Theresa May non-withdrawal treaty that was thrown out yet again. And yet, doubt it not, the UK in its entirety will leave the EU, no ifs, buts or maybes. I guess it’s going to take God Himself to sort out this mess.
All the current madness is just sound and fury, signifying nothing , just a chance for this rotten lot to crush themselves on the stumbling stone that is Brexit. This all reminds me of the bit in Exodus where the Israelites having been freed from 400 years of slavery decide that they’d rather return to Egypt because there they had ‘cucumbers, onions and garlic’. Only swap that for cheap holidays to Tenerife, paltry business grants except for the humongous ones given to corporations, and ‘free’ trade that costs a mere £15,000,000,000 a year minimum. There is no one harder to free than a slave who does not realise he is a slave to start with. I watched a programme this week that quoted Simon Bolivar: ‘ A people that loves freedom will in the end be free’. I hope that holds true for us and we realise that it is better to have a little with peace, than a lot with strife. The unholy mess that is the future of the EU judging by its current death throes will be no place for any peoples who value their integrity, but the battle for a nation’s soul is being presented as a question of economics at the moment. Still, we shall see what we shall see. In the meantime, I rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. I leave you with an excellent joke (Vicki, take a bow)
A labrador, a collie and a cat all die and find themselves before God on his throne. God asks them in turn why He should let them into heaven. The labrador says ‘I’ve been totally faithful to my master. I’ve loved him, kept him company and comforted him when he’s sad’ ‘Well done’ says God, ‘You may come in’. The collie says’ I’ve worked as a sheepdog, I’ve guarded the flock and kept them safe and I’ve helped my master’ ‘Well done’ says God, ‘You may come in’. The cat looks at God on His throne and says ‘You’re in my seat’ Have a wonderful, healthy week.
What a weekend! I had it all planned out but it went pear-shaped almost instantly. Going to a surprise party in Croydon from Somerset, no problem. Allow 4 hours for travelling so I’d have time to change when I got there, and generally hang around shooting the breeze. A nice little amble down the A303, clock Stonehenge on the way, fabulous. It was all going so well, driving past the spectacular colour-show that is autumn. Having had a truly lousy week where I actually overslept on one of the days, waking up at the exact moment I was supposed to be at work because the blasted alarm didn’t go off, I was really looking forward to this weekend. Not that the week was a complete bust – of course I had one of what I now think of as my personal rainbows. I was driving to work on the gloomy ‘late’ morning, thinking ‘Where is the SUN? ‘, and I thought, ‘It’s moved from the sky into the leaves’ The colours are that amazing. Yep, I’m a poet and I don’t know it 🙂 There is a particular yellow with a hint of orange that you will occasionally see in oak tree leaves at the moment. Oh my giddy aunt, if I could EXACTLY replicate that colour on canvas, my work here would be done.
So, technicolour amble down the A303 despite the lashing rainfall till 5 miles from Stonehenge, then a complete stop – for 45 minutes. Broken-down caravan, single lane traffic. And then downhill all the way– apocalyptic rainfall, M4 closed, M25 closed, I could have cried. Tried a detour through Surrey but the reception was so bad, Google Maps lady had a nervous breakdown — turn right, turn left at the rounadbout, turn right in 300 yards, I don’t know where I am! Aarrrggghhh!! Abort, abort, abort— in the end I turned the damn thing off and navigated with good old-fashioned logic and motorway signs. The rain was so bad, no one was even doing 60. On the motorway. In England. Believe me, I have seen these maniacs going 90mph with black ice on the road. Upshot, the journey took 6 hours. For 180 miles. The flight time from London to New York is 6 hrs and 50 minutes, just to put that in perspective. Having had nothing to eat since 11am, by the time I got to the party I could have eaten a scabby horse between two old mattresses. An old East End saying – don’t say you learn nothing from me. The party itself was fab and the celebrant is worth the hassle but if I don’t see Croydon and its insane one-way system for at least a decade, it’ll be too soon.
Peaches in Rum made by clueless short-tempered person. The jar of wonder
Peaches in Brandy made by someone who is not an idiot
All in all, I’d rather be in Rome. I’m still on holiday, working harder than if I’d been at work. I’m in the middle of developing facial skincare– cream, lotion, you name it; I’m making it and testing it. Plus, I’m redesigning the packaging, testing out switching products from plastic to glass (although our plastic bottles are already 100% recyclable), designing artwork for the new products etc etc. So you can see why I hate the living guts of Extinction Rebellion. Trying to traverse Central London is an absolute nightmare especially when you factor in torrential rain. What is with the rain, anyway? If God is looking for a handy target for lightning bolts, I can recommend a Tower-of-Babel lookalike in Brussels…..Not quite sure what XR’s end game is – there is surely no one left alive whose ecological awareness needs improving. We all know what the problem is; what are their solutions? As for the people going on about their children’s futures… you have children!!??? Do you know what a burden that puts on the planet according to the overpopulation fascists? That’s it, euthanasia all around.
Of course what the overpopulation crowd never seem to address is who is going to look after this population of aged people, who will be working to cover their pensions and where are the healthcare professionals coming from when the average age of the country is 60 and everyone is living to 90 in this new utopia? Where are the new ideas and innovation going to come from with no young people?
https://i0.wp.com/alaraapothecary.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/20191009_201233.jpg?fit=2346%2C4032&ssl=140322346alaradesigns@gmail.comhttps://alaraapothecary.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/alara.pngalaradesigns@gmail.com2019-10-09 21:06:132019-10-09 21:19:11Hypertension? You Bet!
Hurrah for the weekend. I’m totally worn out but now I have some time off next week. Hurrah and Huzzah! Of course I shan’t actaually be resting or anything as frivolous as that – I’m perfecting some new facial skincare lines so watch this space. For this weekend though, I am doing absoultely nothing, zip, nada ……except this blog of course. It’s been another bonkers week in BrexitLand but I won’t bore you with the tedious chicanery of our dimwitted politicians. My favourite spectacle was seeing a self-important MP getting hoisted with his own petard. Having obviously set up an ambush for the PM’s adviser Dominic Cummings, with TV crew in tow, it was hilarious to see a bemused Dominic watching his antics without a clue as to who this lunatic was. Cue deflation of MP with Dominic saying ‘I don’t know who you are’ and asking his companion, ‘Who is this guy?’ Can anyone say insignificant nonentity? I laughed like a drain as I saw Mr Cummings begin to get the distinct look of a man chained to a maniac as the MP ranted at him. Comedy gold. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8FAhyQEJRI
Adorable poppet cutie of the week award goes to Theo, a 2½ -year old taking part in an acting masterclass with Brian Cox. I’m always amazed by what incredibly good mimics very young children can be. That’s why we don’t go about effing and blinding in their vicinity, not that I eff and blind of course, being so posh and all that 🙂 This is one of my favourite Shakespearean set-pieces. How swanky do I sound, having favourite Shakesperean soliloquies? Says in fruity, actorly voice, ‘Oh yah, soliloquies are my thing, don’t you know.’ I have to say that I’m more your take up arms, death-to-my-enemies, drink aquavit out of their skulls kinda girl. I’m certain that is why I was dragooned into Christianity so early- God obviously took a look and said ‘Let’s get this one double-quick before she can carry out her scorched earth, salt-their-fields tendencies.’ I digress 🙂 Anyway, here are Brian and Theo in their glory. The pure, clear logic of a small child – “To be, or not to be. That is the question” “Yeah, it is” Priceless. Have a wonderful weekend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loDMRzPiCic
https://i0.wp.com/alaraapothecary.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/20190928_173127.jpg?fit=4032%2C3024&ssl=130244032alaradesigns@gmail.comhttps://alaraapothecary.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/alara.pngalaradesigns@gmail.com2019-09-28 17:35:302019-09-30 14:24:50Who Are You?
Dear readers, longest time. And where have I been? Having adventures? Hmm, of a sort. First of all, congratulations to Marita, Rosie and Gilly, winners of the Beauty Bible fab prezzies you see above. Hope you love the products as much as we do; I look forward to your orders for weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations etc etc 🙂 Commiserations to those who did not get picked – we had a bumper 8400 entries. Yep, you read that right, 8400. So, I hope you will forgive us for not picking everybody. On the plus side, The Beauty Bible is always choc-a-bloc with chances to win some fabulous goodies, I’ve been known to enter a prize draw or two myself. Make sure that you subscribe to their site – it’s the must-read for all things beauty. I will be letting all the entrants know the next time we run a prize draw ourselves so you may yet win something…..
So, where have I been? Well, a fortnight ago I went to a birthday party. Coming home, bang, a car accident. My second in 20-odd years of driving. Unbelievable. Thankfully no one was hurt and as the other car hit me and slid past, all my car had was a tiny ding on the bumper and a smear of his paintwork. Insurance exchange, no cuts, no bruises. Drove home. Driving to work on Monday morning, car starts jumping about after 10 minutes. What the helling hell??? Pull over, no lights on the dashboard, no indication of the problem. Managed to get it to the mechanic on a wing and a prayer. When I didn’t hear from them by 3pm, I knew it was bad news. Automatic gear box gone, not fixable, replacement 2K + labour. So, car totalled, needs scrapping. Time for some enjoyable bus journeys to work– not. I’d been praying for a new car for ages anyway so I received this as the gift from God that it was. By Wednesday, I’d had to shell out for a new car. However, when life gives you lemons, you gotta make lemonade so I got the SUV I’d been aching to buy all along. I salved my eco-conscience when I realised its emissions level was way lower than my previous jalopy. What with this year’s unfunny cancer scare and car accidents, you gotta hope for the best and plan for the worst so I went right ahead and got the car. It’s a beaut, love at first sight and it’s black which is the only real colour worth having except for red which is only allowed if it’s a Ferrari. Yes, I love all your trendy colours (except grey which makes me suicidal), I just don’t want them for myself, thankee kindly.
We Rest On Thee
Finally got the official all-clear today; I definitely do not have skin cancer. I knew already anyway because God Himself told me in church last week. I freaked out, the people praying for me freaked out – it was amazing, comical and downright terrifying, all at the same time. Turns out we believe in God, we just never expect Him to actually show up. But that’s a story for another day. It was still incredibly good to hear the words, ‘It’s definitely not cancer’ Plus, a lady pulled up and gave me her half-used parking ticket which exactly covered the expected duration of my appointment so I didn’t even have to pay for parking. In London. If that alone isn’t divine intervention, I don’t know what is 🙂
So I am one happy bunny. I celebrated by playing Michael Jackson’s ‘Dangerous’ album at top volume all the way home, and then ate my own body weight in sushi. It’s my birthday this weekend and it feels pretty good to not be saying my farewells so thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Watching the ridiculous political sheenanigans we are being subjected to, I just wish I could personally impress on these idiots how easily life can turn on a sixpence. They act as though they will live forever and will never answer for their deeds. It turns out that Boris Johnson is indeed the stalking horse I suspected he was. As soon as I saw that photograph where he was surrounded by the EU leaders and they were all slapping him on the back like a long-lost son, I knew he’d collected his 30 pieces of silver. He confirmed it a couple of days ago by taking the threat of No Deal out of the Tory manifesto, leaving us with the rubbish Theresa May non-withdrawal treaty that was thrown out yet again. And yet, doubt it not, the UK in its entirety will leave the EU, no ifs, buts or maybes. I guess it’s going to take God Himself to sort out this mess.
All the current madness is just sound and fury, signifying nothing , just a chance for this rotten lot to crush themselves on the stumbling stone that is Brexit. This all reminds me of the bit in Exodus where the Israelites having been freed from 400 years of slavery decide that they’d rather return to Egypt because there they had ‘cucumbers, onions and garlic’. Only swap that for cheap holidays to Tenerife, paltry business grants except for the humongous ones given to corporations, and ‘free’ trade that costs a mere £15,000,000,000 a year minimum. There is no one harder to free than a slave who does not realise he is a slave to start with. I watched a programme this week that quoted Simon Bolivar: ‘ A people that loves freedom will in the end be free’. I hope that holds true for us and we realise that it is better to have a little with peace, than a lot with strife. The unholy mess that is the future of the EU judging by its current death throes will be no place for any peoples who value their integrity, but the battle for a nation’s soul is being presented as a question of economics at the moment. Still, we shall see what we shall see. In the meantime, I rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. I leave you with an excellent joke (Vicki, take a bow)
A labrador, a collie and a cat all die and find themselves before God on his throne. God asks them in turn why He should let them into heaven. The labrador says ‘I’ve been totally faithful to my master. I’ve loved him, kept him company and comforted him when he’s sad’ ‘Well done’ says God, ‘You may come in’. The collie says’ I’ve worked as a sheepdog, I’ve guarded the flock and kept them safe and I’ve helped my master’ ‘Well done’ says God, ‘You may come in’. The cat looks at God on His throne and says ‘You’re in my seat’ Have a wonderful, healthy week.
La Pluie Est Pissant 😁
What a weekend! I had it all planned out but it went pear-shaped almost instantly. Going to a surprise party in Croydon from Somerset, no problem. Allow 4 hours for travelling so I’d have time to change when I got there, and generally hang around shooting the breeze. A nice little amble down the A303, clock Stonehenge on the way, fabulous. It was all going so well, driving past the spectacular colour-show that is autumn. Having had a truly lousy week where I actually overslept on one of the days, waking up at the exact moment I was supposed to be at work because the blasted alarm didn’t go off, I was really looking forward to this weekend. Not that the week was a complete bust – of course I had one of what I now think of as my personal rainbows. I was driving to work on the gloomy ‘late’ morning, thinking ‘Where is the SUN? ‘, and I thought, ‘It’s moved from the sky into the leaves’ The colours are that amazing. Yep, I’m a poet and I don’t know it 🙂 There is a particular yellow with a hint of orange that you will occasionally see in oak tree leaves at the moment. Oh my giddy aunt, if I could EXACTLY replicate that colour on canvas, my work here would be done.
So, technicolour amble down the A303 despite the lashing rainfall till 5 miles from Stonehenge, then a complete stop – for 45 minutes. Broken-down caravan, single lane traffic. And then downhill all the way– apocalyptic rainfall, M4 closed, M25 closed, I could have cried. Tried a detour through Surrey but the reception was so bad, Google Maps lady had a nervous breakdown — turn right, turn left at the rounadbout, turn right in 300 yards, I don’t know where I am! Aarrrggghhh!! Abort, abort, abort— in the end I turned the damn thing off and navigated with good old-fashioned logic and motorway signs. The rain was so bad, no one was even doing 60. On the motorway. In England. Believe me, I have seen these maniacs going 90mph with black ice on the road. Upshot, the journey took 6 hours. For 180 miles. The flight time from London to New York is 6 hrs and 50 minutes, just to put that in perspective. Having had nothing to eat since 11am, by the time I got to the party I could have eaten a scabby horse between two old mattresses. An old East End saying – don’t say you learn nothing from me. The party itself was fab and the celebrant is worth the hassle but if I don’t see Croydon and its insane one-way system for at least a decade, it’ll be too soon.
Read moreHypertension? You Bet!
All in all, I’d rather be in Rome. I’m still on holiday, working harder than if I’d been at work. I’m in the middle of developing facial skincare– cream, lotion, you name it; I’m making it and testing it. Plus, I’m redesigning the packaging, testing out switching products from plastic to glass (although our plastic bottles are already 100% recyclable), designing artwork for the new products etc etc. So you can see why I hate the living guts of Extinction Rebellion. Trying to traverse Central London is an absolute nightmare especially when you factor in torrential rain. What is with the rain, anyway? If God is looking for a handy target for lightning bolts, I can recommend a Tower-of-Babel lookalike in Brussels…..Not quite sure what XR’s end game is – there is surely no one left alive whose ecological awareness needs improving. We all know what the problem is; what are their solutions? As for the people going on about their children’s futures… you have children!!??? Do you know what a burden that puts on the planet according to the overpopulation fascists? That’s it, euthanasia all around.
Of course what the overpopulation crowd never seem to address is who is going to look after this population of aged people, who will be working to cover their pensions and where are the healthcare professionals coming from when the average age of the country is 60 and everyone is living to 90 in this new utopia? Where are the new ideas and innovation going to come from with no young people?
Read moreWho Are You?
Hurrah for the weekend. I’m totally worn out but now I have some time off next week. Hurrah and Huzzah! Of course I shan’t actaually be resting or anything as frivolous as that – I’m perfecting some new facial skincare lines so watch this space. For this weekend though, I am doing absoultely nothing, zip, nada ……except this blog of course. It’s been another bonkers week in BrexitLand but I won’t bore you with the tedious chicanery of our dimwitted politicians. My favourite spectacle was seeing a self-important MP getting hoisted with his own petard. Having obviously set up an ambush for the PM’s adviser Dominic Cummings, with TV crew in tow, it was hilarious to see a bemused Dominic watching his antics without a clue as to who this lunatic was. Cue deflation of MP with Dominic saying ‘I don’t know who you are’ and asking his companion, ‘Who is this guy?’ Can anyone say insignificant nonentity? I laughed like a drain as I saw Mr Cummings begin to get the distinct look of a man chained to a maniac as the MP ranted at him. Comedy gold. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8FAhyQEJRI
Adorable poppet cutie of the week award goes to Theo, a 2½ -year old taking part in an acting masterclass with Brian Cox. I’m always amazed by what incredibly good mimics very young children can be. That’s why we don’t go about effing and blinding in their vicinity, not that I eff and blind of course, being so posh and all that 🙂 This is one of my favourite Shakespearean set-pieces. How swanky do I sound, having favourite Shakesperean soliloquies? Says in fruity, actorly voice, ‘Oh yah, soliloquies are my thing, don’t you know.’ I have to say that I’m more your take up arms, death-to-my-enemies, drink aquavit out of their skulls kinda girl. I’m certain that is why I was dragooned into Christianity so early- God obviously took a look and said ‘Let’s get this one double-quick before she can carry out her scorched earth, salt-their-fields tendencies.’ I digress 🙂 Anyway, here are Brian and Theo in their glory. The pure, clear logic of a small child – “To be, or not to be. That is the question” “Yeah, it is” Priceless. Have a wonderful weekend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loDMRzPiCic
Oyez, Oyez, Winners Alert
Dear readers, longest time. And where have I been? Having adventures? Hmm, of a sort. First of all, congratulations to Marita, Rosie and Gilly, winners of the Beauty Bible fab prezzies you see above. Hope you love the products as much as we do; I look forward to your orders for weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations etc etc 🙂 Commiserations to those who did not get picked – we had a bumper 8400 entries. Yep, you read that right, 8400. So, I hope you will forgive us for not picking everybody. On the plus side, The Beauty Bible is always choc-a-bloc with chances to win some fabulous goodies, I’ve been known to enter a prize draw or two myself. Make sure that you subscribe to their site – it’s the must-read for all things beauty. I will be letting all the entrants know the next time we run a prize draw ourselves so you may yet win something…..
So, where have I been? Well, a fortnight ago I went to a birthday party. Coming home, bang, a car accident. My second in 20-odd years of driving. Unbelievable. Thankfully no one was hurt and as the other car hit me and slid past, all my car had was a tiny ding on the bumper and a smear of his paintwork. Insurance exchange, no cuts, no bruises. Drove home. Driving to work on Monday morning, car starts jumping about after 10 minutes. What the helling hell??? Pull over, no lights on the dashboard, no indication of the problem. Managed to get it to the mechanic on a wing and a prayer. When I didn’t hear from them by 3pm, I knew it was bad news. Automatic gear box gone, not fixable, replacement 2K + labour. So, car totalled, needs scrapping. Time for some enjoyable bus journeys to work– not. I’d been praying for a new car for ages anyway so I received this as the gift from God that it was. By Wednesday, I’d had to shell out for a new car. However, when life gives you lemons, you gotta make lemonade so I got the SUV I’d been aching to buy all along. I salved my eco-conscience when I realised its emissions level was way lower than my previous jalopy. What with this year’s unfunny cancer scare and car accidents, you gotta hope for the best and plan for the worst so I went right ahead and got the car. It’s a beaut, love at first sight and it’s black which is the only real colour worth having except for red which is only allowed if it’s a Ferrari. Yes, I love all your trendy colours (except grey which makes me suicidal), I just don’t want them for myself, thankee kindly.
Read more