It’s Monday and it’s my solemn mission to give my readers a headache. I’ve been musing about the content of this particular blog over the last few weeks. Being a pharmacist, I’m used to reading any number of spurious claims made by scientists in a bid to big up their research and attract funding– Cancer will be cured in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years etc etc. The latest article I read claimed in its headline that scientists could now explain NDEs ( near-death experiences: lights, floating, the tunnel, finding yourself in paradise or being dragged off to hell by scary monsters etc etc).  Do I need to tell you that having read the actual text, scientists have zero clue about NDEs? Of course not. What they can  do is trigger some aspects of it, not all, in some people, not all,  through oxygen deprivation in the lungs and the brain. They’ve been able to do that since the 80s, so epic fail all round. Another non-story.

It made me think of all the other ‘facts’ we believe in good faith, the belief in which can have serious consequences for us:

• No two fingerprints are the same. Really? Who checked all 10 x 7 billion on earth. The odds may be small but is it absolute zero? Would you bet your murder trial on it? Exactly! Anyway, Paul Simon says he’s checked and they’re all the same, so there 🙂
• No two snowflakes are identical. Really? Maternal (monozygotic) twins are identical in all respects, down to their DNA. It is now claimed that you can tell them apart by searching for mutations in their DNA but you would have to run their entire genomes, all 3.2 billion base pairs, and examine each base pair, hoping to find a mutation that coincides with your sample. Of course, every cell in the human body is in a state of change, so is the genome sample from last month identical to one you run this month?Er, dunno. Monozygotic twins do have non-identical fingerprints, or so we are assured. Please see above……
• If a system as complex as a human being can be replicated exactly, is it really true that something as relatively simple as crystallised water molecules is never, ever replicated? There are approximately one billion snowflakes in each cubic foot of snow alone. Now think of Antarctica…… Of course, what scientists actually say is that it’s improbable that two snowflakes would be identical. What we hear is that two snowflakes can never be identical
• Gravity. Proven constant force? Er, no. No one knows how it works, and it’s not constant across the earth. I have to admit that the fluctuations are very slight, but they are there and are measurable. No one knows if it has been constant all through earth’s existence. I like to think of Tyrannosauri Rex and Bronchosauri free-wheeling in the sky. What a trip.It is thought to be due to particles/waves called gravitons which as of now are hypothetical and have never been measured or observed. Gravity is inferred by its effects. So, if you see a group of young men preening and posturing and generally making asses of themselves, you can infer that there is a spectacularly beautiful woman nearby. Gravity and gravitons made flesh. AlaraApothecary: we explain science in ways that make sense 🙂 And the OS contour map? I included it because contour maps have always reminded me of fingerprints and I love the crazy swirls. As the Billster said:

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Keep questioning everything, and never drink the Kool-Aid. Simple rules to live by. Have a fantabulous week.

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BREXIT- the gift that just keeps on giving. First of all, the bankers, Treasury, and financial ‘experts’ took an Olympic-sized bath by betting on a catastrophic crash, wrongly as usual. You’d need a heart of stone not to laugh.

Then we had the people asking for a 2nd, 3rd, 87th referendum- in fact, a Neverendum:

“What do we want? ”

“A referendum! ”

“When do we want it? ”

“Until we get a result we like! ”

Beyond hilarious. Democracy is like the army; you shouldn’t have joined  if you can’t take a joke. Even better was the spectacle of MPs who were elected with fewer votes on a lower electorate turnout having the cheek to threaten to overturn the vote. On what mandate, S’il vous plaît? On your lower turnout? Clowns.

 

Then we come to the BoJo & Gove show. It gladdens my heart to witness such stunning political léger de main. Boris hangs tight for a week, not declaring his candidacy and drawing all the fire of the ABB (anyone but Boris) crowd. Sarah Vine ‘accidentally’ sends a damning email to a member of the public. Just before the nominations close, Michael throws his hat into the ring, denouncing Boris in extremely vague terms which would not preclude adding Boris to a future cabinet. End result- ‘ruthless’ Michael becomes  capo di tutti capi in the Tory party, a cheerful Boris declines to run for PM although no one seems to wonder why he doesn’t stay to fight his corner,  and Theresa May is left spitting feathers having concentrated her fire on the wrong person for a full week. Beautifully done. Such a change from the usual ineptitude of political manouevering; it’s good to see some brains at work.

The Labour MPs are hellbent on getting rid of the only leader their core voters would vote for. He’ll go and the voters will all vote UKIP, and what a pretty kettle of fish that will be. I’m sure they’ll all find new jobs they’re eminently qualified for in 2020 such as …. erm…. Meanwhile in the real world, life goes on. There are no marauding gangs bearing pitchforks on the streets. Mind you, I was in Hertfordshire yesterday and methinks I saw a pitchfork or two. Here be dragons, as most Londoners would believe. I’m just joking. And so the ship of fools that is the House of Commons sails on, over the edge of the world.

In the real world, roads are still being swept, hair cut, pupils taught, the sick nursed. You know, the labour that actually creates the wealth of the country and keeps it functioning. I bring you two more images today- the Smeg fridges made in collaboration with Dolce & Gabbana. My big fat Gypsy fridge – words fail me. Children, avert your eyes.

 

My personal fave? The pimped Roller covered in purple velvet. It’s so impractical and utterly without any redeeming feature that I immediately fell in love. It’s akin to a pair of galoshes made from rose petals. I hope the owner employs someone whose dedicated task it is to brush it with a clothes brush every day – for 40K a year. And no, this guy (it’s a guy, for sure!) is not what’s wrong with the world (well, not entirely 🙂 ) It’s the £50 billion (more like £80 billion by the end) that the idiot government is planning to spend on HS2 to shave half-an-hour off the journey to the North while devastating huge swathes of the countryside that will mean that when you need a triple by-pass or a cataract operation, there’ll be no money for it.

And so the world turns. Don’t be surprised if you find I’m running for leadership of both parties. AlaraApothecary for Empress of the World ! You know it makes sense.  Have a terrific weekend.

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