Emotion, Schemotion.

Excellent week where it did not snow. Yeah, yeah, it’s really priddy, until you have to wade through the wretched stuff. Love it if I have the weekend off, not so keen if I have to go to work. Best story this week is the one about Zoe Kravitz telling us to let it all out-forget the stiff upper lip. If someone asks how we are, we should tell them, in detail. I can hear all of Britain going “Eek!”. Zo, darling, seriously no. Wrong on so many levels. Reminds me of that crazy guy with the ‘Tube Chat’ badges. Americans, eh? What are they like?

Should you meet an acquaintance in the street, even though you are applying a cut-throat razor to your wrist with tears streaming down your face, if they ask how you are, the correct British response is “Musn’t grumble”. You may go as far as to suggest that you are “ticking along” but even that can be considered as extremely skittish. Your acquaintance will then tactfully ignore the razor and/or tears and make a comment about the unseasonal weather. In the event of you actually then using said razor, they will be allowed to exclaim, “Gosh! I suppose I’d better call an ambulance.” At no point should either participant talk about their divorce, psychotic spouse, or case of herpes. This is the least a civilised society can ask for, I think we can all agree.

It reminds me of the joke about the guy who joined a Trappist monastery, taking on the famous vow of silence. They were allowed to speak four words to the Abbot at every fifth anniversary. At the first 5-year anniversary, he said “I hate the food.” The second time, he said ” My bed is uncomfortable.” At the 15-year anniversary, he told the Abbot: “I want to leave.” To which the Abbot replied, “Thank God for that. you’ve done nothing but moan since you got here.”

Enjoy the lovely images I have selected for you today. Even in Britain, you are allowed to enthuse about good design because only a soulless cretin does not appreciate good design. Have a fab yet restrained weekend. Toodle pip.