Fair Winds

Hi everyone, it’s been a while I know. I’ve had a lot going on lately but I have no wish to burden y’all with that. Just a quick post, first to improve your week by sharing this wonderful video of starlings taken by @acreswildgardendesign. Who doesn’t love a murmuration of starlings? Exactly. I follow them on Insta, and so should you. I’m a sucker for a beautiful garden and their work is lovely. When I’m landscaping AlaraTowers in the future, they are a shoo-in, for sure.

I hope everyone is doing OK. The government did announce the beginning of the end of lockdown by middle of February as predicted by moi. There is no more talk of July or any of that nonsense. Even the March 8th date they’re currently testing in the press is later than the dismantling will be. They are busily leaking stuff to the media to gauge how it will play out before announcing anything concrete in a bid to ward off the reckoning that is surely coming, as sure as eggs is eggs. Unless of course, eggs is no longer eggs but is now syntheggs, brought to you by Farmer Bill. Syntheggs! Yum!! Can’t wait.

So, I say it again, the lockdown is coming down, in its entirety. No vaccine passports, no showing your papers to robocops before you’re allowed to go out and buy a carton of milk. I mean, what the helling hell? What you can expect is a big distraction, a good day to bury bad news, so to speak. We already have a beginning with the Harry & Meghan show followed by the Kim & Kanye show but that won’t save their sorry backsides because quite frankly, we all have bigger issues to deal with. Must try harder, wheel out the big guns. My heart goes out to all the poor people who are quietly being made redundant, I just pray that the economy will still be robust enough so new jobs can be created.

Meanwhile in London, our dear mayor wants lockdown to continue indefinitely. Nothing to do with the mayoral elections that have been deferred for a year already. No, sirree Bob – you conspiracy theorist 🙂 His ass is grass the minute the polls open, and he knows it. He’d have to blow up Big Ben and declare a state of emergency AND martial law, before he gets to stay as mayor. Don’t give them ideas, you say…….

As we always say @Alara: you have nothing to fear but fear itself. These incompetent poltroons are mere mortals, and the whole Covid palaver is still a busted flush. I look forward to hanging out with you all in the nearest pub, very very soon. God is firmly on the throne, and beside Him, there is no other. That’s all she wrote for this week. Obvs, I must share the mandatory cheesy joke:

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

It’s the way we tell ’em. Have a wonderful week.

Addendum: The govt has just announced its hilarious 75-step road to lifting lockdown. Right on cue, cases are rising all over the country. Remove lockdown in June, then come autumn, CASES,VARIANTS, CASES! They must believe that we are as thick as mince. They are actually saying the words ‘Zero Covid’ with a straight face. When I am Empress of the world, biology and statistics will be mandatory, no food if you fail the exams. That way this smoke-and-mirrors style of governance will be impossible. Zero tolerance which is unreasonable, you say? You should be used to it – just another set of arbitrary rubbish that doesn’t make sense. As they say in sunny Lagos, “Where we are going, we will get there” 🙂 The lockdown is ending – the only people who don’t understand that is the government but they will learn that all that glitters is not gold. Today’s cheesy joke:

“I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”