So, I made it to Pisa on time, courtesy of a surprisingly smooth Ryanair flight, through passport control and baggage claim, then the next step of the journey from hell, “Sorry, the Terravision buses aren’t running to central Florence; it’s fashion week” For crying out loud! I was assured that the buses would stop just ‘ten minutes’ from the centre and I could easily walk or take a tram. Knowing people’s penchant for wanting to sell bus tickets and underestimating distances, I politely declined. When I checked, there were 8 tram stops between the dropoff point and central Florence….. Why would the insane authorities block off the buses, I hear you ask. Well, if it’s fashion week, it’s not as though anyone would be wanting to travel to their city or anything…..Idiots. Anyway, I went by a ridiculously interminable train route instead. Upshot, I got to my hotel two and a half hours after the plane landed. I left home at 6am and got to Florence at 3pm. I could have flown to New York in that time. Absolute madness.

Still, no time to fret. Dropped my bags and set straight out for the Mall. I shopped and shopped and shopped. It was an absolute nightmare. Got back to the hotel (Hotel Montreal, very charming and really nice staff, just a hop and a skip from Farmacia Santa Maria Novella) and decided that the only way to redeem the day was to treat myself to an expensive meal at a tourist trap, which I did 🙂 Italy is one of the few countries in the world where even the food at a tourist trap restaurant (Piazza della Repubblica; tourist central) is delicious. I ate Insalata Caprese, Spaghetti Vongole and Pannacotta, and drank two ruinously expensive glasses of Vermentino. It was freezing but after that lot, all was well with the world. The next day was a 12-hour shopping shift but it was very productive. I had so many bags at the end of it that more than one person made allusions to the film ‘Pretty Woman’ Obvs without Julia Roberts’ gorgeous good looks, and thankfully without the prostitution sideline 🙂 Job done; another night wandering around Florence, another excellent meal, this time at PesceRosso where I ate Carpaccio and Spaghetti PesceRosso (Nero with seafood, olives, capers and lemon). Fabulous. The final day was spent at the freezing cold Mercato San Lorenzo, trawling endless bag stalls. It was incredibly cold and dull because a lot of the stalls had the same stuff and it all took so long. However, I did get to buy a lovely new wallet (orange leather) and one of those leather desk-tidy thingies. Then back to the hotel, hustle to the airport, back to London and then the long drive home which I arrived at, at 1.15am. I went to work the next day.

Let’s just say that if I hadn’t been to Florence a million times before, generally having a good time each time, I’d never want to see the place again, ever. Things I’d planned to do and didn’t manage: Go to the Uffizi, buy a bracelet on Ponte Vecchio, go to Farmacia Santa Maria Novella, buy 12 bottles of Scheweppes Pompelmo, go to my secret 2 shops where I buy discounted clothes, go to the Accademia. Money saved because I had no time: a gazillion Euros. Things I did do: Drink a million capuccinos, eat gelato at Venchi’s (excellent cone, one scoop of chocolate, one scoop of nougatine, mamma mia!), buy Nesti Dante soaps, practise my dodgy italian, trade jokes with Italians about the Gatwick drone fiasco, get a marvellous Ryanair check-in lady to let me off 2 kilos excess luggage, take a million photos for instagram, and generally have an excellent time. Florence: even in the depths of winter, it’s impossible to have a bad time. I’m already making plans to return in summer……..