Hot in London? Do you have fans at the bus stop? No? I rest my case

Gorgeous tile mural at Corniche subway road crossing, Abu Dhabi

Pretty Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi

View of the work-in-progress Atlantis Palm from the beach, AD

I think you can guess where I’ve been….ding, wrong. Not Dubai, Abu Dhabi. Went on a crazy holiday to help celebrate a family birthday. Rushed around like mad at  work last week, found I was unable to check in online,  and then drove to stay in an airport hotel (absolutely disgusting; never again) to fly the next morning. Why couldn’t I check in? I’d been comped an upgrade to business class, baby 🙂 How happy was I, especially after the skanky hotel stay? Extremely happy! I arrived at Heathrow to chaos- the luggage conveyor belts weren’t working. Did I care? Of course not – with my business class boarding pass clutched in my sticky little hands, I was whisked to the front of every queue, fast-tracked through security and was through to the departure gates in 15 minutes flat. Yes, the people in the queues did hate my living guts but I’ve been there, brother. Having some airport nazi tell me that whatever I was doing was wrong etc etc so I deserve the occasional upgrade. How the other half lives…… you have no idea! There should be a revolution, certainly some picketing is called for. I’ve flown first class once before; another upgrade (thank you Brussels Air. New York to Brussels) so I knew I was in for a treat. That time, they had to practically beg my niece and I to get off the planein Brussels.

So, BA business class. Highly recommended. The flight started with a glass of champagne and only got better from then on. I was reliably informed that the champagne in first class was superior but I decided to overlook this egregious slight. The absolute truth? This is why people embrace a life of crime. Just being able to fly around and be pampered got me musing on the many, many crimes I could commit to keep that lifestyle going. I took a load of photos which I may share with you if you demand it; I’m trying to be cool about the whole thing. Even after I arrived at Abu Dhabi to be told at midnight that my luggage was in London, I wasn’t that bothered. BA could do no wrong, fo’reals. I was encouraged by many delinquent companions to go out the next day and max out BA’s account buying replacement items but I didn’t. I run a business as well, be it on a minor scale (so far…) and I could empathise – the delays will cost them a bomb. I womanfully stuck to essential clothing, not even buying so much as an extra tube of toothpaste as I had some in my comp bag. I hope my clients take such pity on me also should the need arise. On the downside, all my party clothes etc were in London but my awesome sister lent me a floaty number and saved the day. I had been considering wearing the top I bought from Zara and festooning myself with all the jewellery I took (loads!) thereby distracting the eye from my humble garments 🙂

The whole holiday was bonkers: there were 3 fashion shoots arranged for a start, as well as many, many visits to the gold souks and malls and karaoke etc etc. We had the best time, and I bored everyone silly showing them our write-up on The Beauty Bible and talking business with everyone who was even remotely affiliated with fashion or beauty products. I’m so obsessed with this that I nixed the chance to stay an extra day and came back to make sure orders went out. I also racked up an extra £50 on my mobile phone trying to sort out Amazon listings etc which I truly resented. It’s a point of honour to avoid unnecessarily enriching my thieving mobile phone provider with their swingeing tariff .  When I’m rich and famous, I hope these sacrifices will be remembered 🙂 So, Abu Dhabi: a big thumbs up as long as you’re prepared to be respectful of their customs which I guess is only fair. I’ll cover Dubai in the next post. Can I just say that I finally realised just how hot the UAE was when I arrived to 34˚C at Heathrow and realised that it felt like a ‘cool’ evening in Abu Dhabi. As Obelix would say, ‘This desert is crazy’. Reminds me of the time I was in Milan and told the concierge I was going for a long walk and he told me, ‘Pazzo‘. I came round to his viewpoint when my shoes started sticking to the pavement and I realised the tarmac was melting. I was gutted that I didn’t have an egg handy; I’ve always wanted to fry an egg on the pavement. There’s an idea…..  Have a good one.