Just because you can

Dear readers, a million apologies for going AWOL for a while. I’ve been crazy busy trying to do a gazillion things at once – with non-hilarious results. I have been keeping an eye out for the stuff I hope will tickle your fancy. The story that made me roll my eyes the most was Theresa May’s putative ‘standing up to the Chinese’ with regard to Hinkley Point. These jokers must think we’re all idiots. So, we have ‘tough’ Theresa threatening to cancel the nuclear plant plan only to cave in a couple of weeks later with no concessions from the French or the Chinese. What a tough negotiator – thank God she’s on our side. A little note to the PR people – the strings are showing and your stage-managed nonsense wouldn’t fool a toddler. Gamma minus to all concerned. Thank God she’s not in charge of Brexit…..Oh no! She is!!

Best idea of the week — sending Philip Green to negotiate Brexit. It wouldn’t cost us a penny, and we’d end up owning Normandy, Munich and Rome 🙂

The other story which amazed me were pictures of the Russian businessman Andrey Melnichenko’s yacht. The yacht is 300m, 800m, 5 miles long– yawn, who cares? What caught my eye was the set of chairs made from crocodile skin, with the tails still attached. On the scale of bad taste, this is only just pipped by the idiots who make bar stools and umbrella stands out of elephants’ feet. I mean, why??? Why would anyone think this is a good idea? And no, some of my best friends aren’t crocodiles. I know they are predators and are not endangered, but I’m filing this one under ‘Just because you can, doesn’t mean that you should.’ The boat is gorgeous, but those chairs……….

Favourite story? Easy. Mike Ashley’s PR stunt. I don’t know Mr Ashley obviously but if the papers are to be believed, which they are not, he makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like Mother Theresa. So, when he decided to call the press in to show how humane the cavity search operation at his shops is, filling his pocket with £50 notes beforehand was not the greatest idea. Just look at the expressions on the faces of his unfortunate zero-hour contract employees. Epic Fail. You’d need a heart of stone not to laugh. Best bit, the headline in The Sun: Wad A Moron. Choice. I know we shouldn’t encourage the paper but that is a brilliant headline.

To counteract all this ghastliness, here are some of the new lines from Decorex which begins today:

Have a wonderful week.

(Photos: Brand Van Egmond chandelier; Falomo collection, Eva Sonaike, GLO pendants, Penta; Water Music fabric, BeatWoven; Little Finches metalware, Lux & Bloom; Pod lights, Martin Huxford )

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