Least Expensivest

Let’s get the business bit out of the way. Because we are AlaraApothecary and our aim is to help you survive post-lockdown confusion in style, we are launching 3 Wellness sets : Rosa, Citrus Burst, and Honeysuckle. Ta-dah! Each one contains 1 x 50ml cream, 1 x 100ml body oil, and 1 x 100ml body cleanser, comes in a nifty eco-certified linen bag, and costs £20. A quick check by the clued-up will show these 3 items would ordinarily cost £41 so it’s obvs a bargain. You can’t get to the countryside? Let the countryside come to you in a jar or a bottle.

Actually the idea is to offer something that is affordable which you can buy as a treat for yourself or someone else – God knows we all need cheering up. The idea gelled as I was watching ‘The Most Expensivest’. Since the lockdown started, I’ve found I can’t watch anything realistic or programmes where people are being mean to one another. Exception? The Blacklist, obvs. But then it’s really like a cartoon anyway; Raymond Reddington is a fantasy figure. So, I’ve been watching stuff like ‘The Most Expensivest’ which is a hoot. Watching 2 Chainz in a succession of highly extravagant outfits proferring one ludicrously expensive item after another for our delectation is a blast. I can live without his constant throwing of the devil horns but other than that, highly recommended. I pretty much want every crazy item he covers – gold-inlaid bamboo fishing rods that cost $12,000 each? You bet. And no, I can’t fish. What’s your point? 🙂 My fave thus far is the customised truck that costs $380,000. You can have a rifle mount fitted to the back, and it’s called The Velociraptor. No, I can’t shoot either….. It’s a must-have, for real. Anyway, though I have nothing but max respect for the workmanship involved in making these products, I really just want to make something nice that people who aren’t gazillionaires/crazy/ spendthrifts* (*delete as applicable) can enjoy. Hence the Wellness Sets. The products smell amazing; buy one for yourself and everyone you know, today.

What else? I’ve been watching ‘Another Life’ which is a sci-fi series starring Katee Sackhoff aka the inimitable Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica. You haven’t seen Battlestar Galactica? What exactly have you done with your life thus far? Get the box set ASAP (after buying a Wellness Set, of course), and I’ll see you in 3 weeks’ time. It is amazingly good. Anyway, ‘Another Life’ is not as high-voltage but it has everything – psychopathic astronauts, homicidal plant-life and spider-like beings on alien planets, morally-ambiguous captains, inscrutable alien artifacts – sci-fi heaven. I’ve also been reading John Bude mysteries from The British Library Crime Classics range. He’s very funny and people get what they deserve in his books, so not too lifelike then 🙂 Now that we are all obviously not at risk of imminent demise, I leave you with some of my favourite memes. The best is the Mother ‘home-schooling’ her child. Priceless. Have a great weekend.