She Started It!
The major theme I’ve noticed this week is human folly. My favourite story is about the British Army’s latest recruitment drive. Following the last six or seven debacles instituted by various British governments in various parts of the world, the general public has politely decided to be included out of joining in the multifarious acts of insanity. The DOD has therefore hit on a new recruitment wheeze- you can join the army and enjoy a 3-day week with a guarantee that you won’t be sent to the frontlines. Pure awesomeness – join the army and don’t see the world. My application has of course been sent post-haste. I have also included a request to work flexi-time from home 🙂 What a great gig: it’s the job I’ve been waiting for all my life! What is that sound? Yes, I do believe it’s the Chinese and the Russians falling about with laughter. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them from our sofas, as Winston Churchill famously said. I have paraphrased somewhat.
In other news, Banksy has opened the Walled-Off Hotel in Bethlehem. Offering scenic views of the wall Israel built to keep out the Palestinians, it is very high on my anti-bucket list. This is why I always look forward to Banksy’s work. I think this is even better than Dismaland. The pictures and decor of the hotel says more about the craziness of Middle Eastern politics than any earnest 900-page tome could. When I visited Israel, I couldn’t get over how similar the Arabs and Israelis look which makes sense as they are both Semitic peoples. Mind you, their mutual hatred is a playground spat compared to the Christian community in Israel. The different denominations loathe one another so much that the keys of the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem are in the safekeeping of a Muslim. It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic. Emphatically not what Jesus preached, I think we can all agree. I am on holiday soon and hope to stay somewhere like La Reserve (see below), only transplanted to Florence. (It’s my fantasy so I don’t intend to skimp 🙂 ) Sorry, Banksy.
Speaking of people embracing their inner Berserker, I came across a great story about Bette Davis. Having maintained a lifelong feud with Joan Crawford, she still regularly slagged her off to anyone who would listen even after Joan had been dead for ages. Talking to a mutual friend who was attempting to stick up for Joan’s memory a full decade after Joan had died, Bette banged her fists on the table and opined that, “Just because someone is dead, it doesn’t mean that they’ve changed!” Awesome. Now, that’s a woman who knew how to bear a grudge. Don’t let a little thing like death get in the way; you go, girl.
This week has been rich in merriment- I bring you Karl Lagerfeld and Meryl Streep, not to mention the Oscars fiasco. AND, the sun is shining! I leave you with one of my fave jokes:
A man walks into a bar and says “Ouch!”.
Have a terrific, vendetta-free weekend. Pip pip.
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