So people, listen up. Valentine’s day is fast approaching. You have to face the fact that unless you’re pro-active, you will end up with some sickly ‘Prosecco’ chocolates and a set of hideous, scratchy, red lingerie. Or even worse, sickly pink lingerie. Double eek!, I hear you exclaim. Exactly.

Luckily for you, we’re here to save the day. (note to self: that should be our new motto- AlaraApothecary, we save Valentine’s day). We have a cunning plan. All you need to do is to leave this post open in a conspicuous place (no, not the fridge. Too incongruous) You could also print off say 20 copies and leave them lying around. Unsubtle? Well, I hope you have some antihistamine cream for your itchy skin…. 🙂 You know it makes sense – you’ll smell great and feel even better. Job done. Free delivery and free gift with all orders received by Feb 12th. I’ll repeat that – Free delivery and free gift with all orders received by Feb 12th. Visit our store on this website or at Amazon.co.uk  Also available at The Kin, Wellington. If you get a better offer this week, well, you’re the bee’s knees, mos’ def.

Just a little addendum – seeing as I already have a shopful of Alara products, any and all would-be valentines should seriously consider getting me this:

Yes, I do too deserve one, and no, a toy version would not be remotely amusing. No one likes a smart-aleck. So be good to yourself, visit our store and fill your days with bottled summer sunshine four months early. I leave you with Sting who has been known to write an excellent lyric verse or two. Have a good one.

If I should seek immunity
And love you with impunity
Then the only thing to do
Is for me to pledge myself to you
But they only dealt one card
So for me it is not hard
You’re the bright star in my chart
You go straight to my heart