The Revenger’s Tragedy

This week’s motif seems to be all about revenge. Christians are of course famously forbidden to seek revenge, a fact that I’ve always found quite distressing as I believe I’d be spectacularly good at it. So before we go on, remember- ‘Vengeance is mine’ saith the Lord, ‘I will repay’. If you are tempted to ignore that, remember the old Chinese proverb- ‘Before setting off on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves’.

The first story of the week of course concerns Lord Ashcroft and the PM. I won’t go into the details of the former’s revenge-fest book as it is unseemly to intrude on other people’s private pain. Suffice to say, Lord Ashcroft sent out his revenge wrapped around a cluster bomb. Response from Downing Street? ‘This sees like just an act of revenge’ and ‘This was a stab in the back’. You don’t say? Two weeks before the Tory conference where the PM should have been basking in the rapturous adoration of his party; 4 months into a 5-year election term. Pal, if 700 million people across the world are reading about your alleged peccadillos, you can safely conclude that you have been stabbed in the front, and stitched up like a kipper by a master tailor.

Which brings us to the second story of the week. David Tepper worked under Jon Corzine at Goldman Sachs. When Jon refused to promote David to senior partnership, David quit and went off to start his own hedge fund. 20 years later, David is worth $8 billion and Jon’s post-Goldman Sachs company is bankrupt to the tune of $45 billion losses and Jon is being investigated for fraud by the Futures regulatory body. The house in the pictures? David bought Jon’s former home from Jon’s ex-wife and razed it to the ground before building a Master of the Universe-style mansion on the site. Talk about your scorched earth policy; I’m surprised he didn’t salt the earth.

The kicker? When questioned about these swings of outrageous fortune, David Tepper said ‘ I guess you could say there is a little justice in the world’ Isn’t that hilarious? Divorce, bankrupty, the threat of jail, and he considers that to be “a little justice”. There’s a man who knows how to hold a grudge. I get the distinct feeling that until he personally gets a chance to give Jon Corzine a smart tap on the Occiput with a lead pipe, David isn’t going to feel his wrongs have been righted.

These are prime examples of the people who are in touch with their Inner-Berserker. You cross them at your peril. They never back down from a fight, and all fights are conducted in ‘last man standing mode’. When you are tempted to humiliate or bully that unassuming person who just seems to smile and take it, be careful. You may be dealing with a Berseker in sheep’s clothing, and he’ll be waiting for you in the tall grass. I leave you with a splendid story from Grace Jones’ new autobiography.Told by one of the fashion movers and shakers in New York that she was wasting her time trying to be a model in Paris because a black model in Paris would be like ‘trying to sell them an old car nobody wants to buy’, our Gracie replied with the words ‘I hope you die of cirrhosis of the liver’. Berserker, through and through.