The Traveller’s Tale

Conde Nast has recently published a list of the most over-rated hotel perks on offer to the discerning traveller who already has everything and then some. Personal favourites include provision of your own butler, a 6-person dining room, 2 head- shoulder massages and 2 Dolphin encounters etc etc (Thank you, Atlantis Palm, Dubai), a Fashion Butler( Mandarin Oriental, Miami), 3 free Porsche test-drives( Rancho Valencia, San Diego) and my personal all-time winner, free Burberry Macs in the wardrobe of every suite at the Connaught in London. English weather can be sooo unpredicatable, what, what.

They think they’re so swanky. Pah! We are not impressed at AlaraApothecary. What we wish to know is, is there a person whose only job is to peel our grapes and check our teeth for stray spinach after every meal? No? Call that a luxury hotel? I don’t think so. By the way, that photo is from a film called ‘Thor & the Amazon Women.’ It sounds like quite the cultural experience.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, BA indulged in their very own little escapade in Las Vegas last week. One of their planes caught fire on the runway. Fortunately, all aboard are safe and sound so we can go ahead and make merry with the incident. What tickled our ribs at AlaraApothecary was the statement by the BA spokesman which said that the plane had experienced some ‘technical issues.‘  Below is a photo of the plane:

Now, is it just us? At what point does a ‘technical issue’ become, oh say – a catastrophe, a disaster, a debacle, a travesty, a fiasco? Well, if the windows have melted, the cabin is on fire and the air stewards are screaming ‘Get out, get out’, technical issue is well behind you. So, maximum kudos to the insouciant BA spokesman – Master of understatement extraordinaire. As far as we’re concerned, he’s already won the Spokesman of the Year trophy, and it’s only September. Be careful out there.