Through The Looking Glass – A Visit To The Old Normal

Hello, dear readers. If you’re a regular, you’ll know that I haven’t written a post for a while. Unfortunately, my Dad died suddently a couple of months ago and it’s been bedlam preparing for the funeral while trying to deal with it at the same time. I’m currently in quarantine, having returned from Nigeria. Of which, more later.

First of all, we won a couple of awards in the 2021 Beauty Bible Awards. A silver award for the Grapefruit* Rosewood bath oil, and a bronze award for the perennial favourite, Honeysuckle body cream. I am beyond overjoyed, especially because the products are tested by the general public who then award marks. To be voted for by regular people like you and I is the true benchmark of quality because we are the people who decide where to spend our hard-earned cash. It is the ultimate compliment. As a Christian, my first thanks must be to God, always. He never lets me down. Thank you so much to all our customers and supporters who have encouraged us through the years. Also, a big thank you to the wonderful people at the Beauty Bible who took a chance on an entirely unknown brand and bigged us up a couple of years ago. For any fledgling brands out there – persistence and perseverance is the name of the game. Don’t give up on your dreams. We still have a long way to go but we are at least on the path. Watch out for a competition to win the 2 winning products on Instagram and email to subscribers.

So, Nigeria. It was bonkers, as usual, in a very good way. It was incredible to go somewhere where Covid is not a thing, and to see what the world was like before 2020. The only time anyone is seen wearing a mask is when you go into the posh shopping malls and restaurants. In fact, people give you a wide berth if you wear a mask on the street because they assume you must be sick with covid. Why else wear a mask in 35°C heat? Other than that, fuggedaboutit. 200 million people, going about their lives. Of course, there is no daily terrifying death toll in all media, there is no clamour of cases, cases!! Therefore, people looked around, realised they don’t know anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who is sick with Covid, never mind dying, and society returned to normal. In the absence of a welfare state, benefits or furlough, everyday citizens had to decide between staying indoors even if they were healthy and starving to death, or going out where no one is sick and building up herd immunity. There was an initial lockdown early last Spring but once it was clear that there was no epidemic in the country, never mind a pandemic, everyone went back to work. The government did announce all kinds of spurious curfews etc, but as the police refused to enforce it nazi-style and it was for midnight, that was that.

I spoke with many people while I was there to try and figure out why the society ignored the hysteria. The comment that stuck in my mind was from the porter helping with my luggage at the airport – “Nigerians don’t want to die, but we are not blind. If we can’t see or hear about people dying from Covid symptoms, we get on with our lives. Even if the government tries to claim that every death is from Covid, the families protest until the real cause of death is recorded. If we don’t work, we don’t eat. If bodies were piling up around us, the government won’t need to tell us to stay inside – they would be begging us to come outside. But there are no sick people, no one is sick or dying from it, so we get on with our lives” I was speaking with one of my colleagues last week about this and my conclusion? Vitamin D from the sun, and plenty of it. Also very little processed food, not much in the way of sugar or fried food, and a super-immune system built up over the years from being around unsanitary environs and eating street food. Essentially, being less well-off saved Africans. The only time in history when being poor in a tropical country was an advantage. The health system is non-existent due to government incompetence; if Covid had taken hold, the deaths would be in the millions in Nigeria because the majority of people can’t afford masks and sanitisers. And people wonder why we believe in God. We know that you certainly can’t put your faith in man. To put it into perspective, 25% of people earn around £10 a day. Masks and sanitisers? Three square meals a day would be nice. Apropos nothing, flu is also not a problem in Nigeria. I’d never heard of it till I came to England so respiratory diseases are obviously not a big problem, but there is good old malaria and typhoid to balance the scales.

On the day of the funeral, we catered for over 2000 people, and that was after trying to minimise attendance because of Covid. There were officially only 300 people invited and it was in a cathedral so we could socially-distance, but the custom is to feed any stranger who rocks up so that the disadvantaged are not ignored. The food was given out in take-away packs to reduce the risk of infection and discourage congregation. The church must have had 700 people minimum in the congregation. We enforced mask-wearing but those who were visiting from Europe and the US were freaking out 🙂 No one is sick or dying with Covid, thank God. Meanwhile, I spent £600 on mandatory covid testing alone. How insane is that? That’s two months pay for the average Nigerian, and lots of people earn less than that. When I read the fiction about summer holidays in the papers, I just laugh. The UK govt has no intention of letting you go on holiday. £600 each for a family of four before you’ve even paid for your holiday – do the maths. They won’t forbid it, they’ll just make it impossible. Then I foolishly decided to pay for Test & Release so that I can physically return to work, another £90. On the same day that I got my 3rd negative test result in 8 days, I got a text from Test & Trace that someone I had been in contact with at an unspecified place had tested positive for Covid, so I have to self-isolate for 10 days anyway. Non-comedy sketch follows:

But I’ve been in quarantine for 7 days, with no contact with any other human being. Doesn’t count.

But I’ve taken 3 PCR tests in 8 days including yesterday, and been negative each time. Doesn’t count.

OK, so I’ve got to take another PCR test after day 10 to make sure I don’t have Covid? Oh, no need for that. Only if you feel you need one or have symptoms. Otherwise, have at it.

So the PCR test is not definitive or the gold standard? Oh it is, apart from when we say it isn’t.

This is way past Kafkaesque, it’s now Alice in Wonderland. What does it remind me of? The vaccine that won’t stop you catching Covid, won’t stop you spreading Covid, and you still have to wear a mask, socially-distance and sanitise every surface you can find. But why? deaths are now in single figures. When do we stop? Do you want to kill your gran? Bonkers.

Can I just remind you all that there are elections this Thursday. Please go out and vote for any party that you feel is not lying to you, and doesn’t seem to be hellbent on destroying your life, everything you’ve worked for, and your children’s future. Is Screaming Lord Sutch still on the ballot? Good luck.