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(Presidential Voice) My fellow Brits,

May I take this opportunity to congratulate you on giving the politicians the kicking they so richly deserve once again. I knew that you would not let me down and my faith in you has been amply rewarded. It is most gratifying to see how many people refused to drink the Kool-Aid that was being pushed down our throats, to see how many people refused to buy into the disgraceful fear-mongering and vicious character assassination we were offered in lieu of actual policies and manifestos. A plague on all their houses seems to have been the collective response. If I may step out of presidential character for a minute: Nick Clegg, Nicola Sturgeon, Amber Rudd, hahahahahaha. The latter escaped by the skin of her teeth but I’m sure you’ll all be waiting for her in the long grass…….Sorry about that, back to the presidential voice 🙂

When Jeremy Corbyn was first elected as Labour leader, I told people he would eventually do for the Tories and they all scoffed. Well, they’re not scoffing now. If there had been any other Labour leader in place a few days ago, the Tories would have won by a landslide. Running the nastiest, most personal campaign I have ever seen didn’t do them any favours but I can understand why they did it; they just can’t understand how the electorate thinks or what they see in good old, unfashionable Jeremy. Looking at the insane Tory manifesto, a more suspicious person than myself would think they were deliberately trying to lose so Brexit would be derailed. The other possibility is that they were high when they came up with it. Obviously, that cannot be true at all.

So, to all the people who think they can subjugate the entire human race by applying a mixture of fear and appeals to self-interest, you are on a hiding to nothing. We will never willingly cede our civil rights and humanity in exchange for your patently spurious promises to protect us. No one believes you but we have learnt to keep quiet and save the kicking for when you are within reach. Eventually, the one-world martial state the politicians are trying for will come to pass but heads up: you won’t get it without a fight. Never mind getting your hands dirty, you will have to wade in the bloodbath you’ll need to contain 7 million souls and ultimately that plan is doomed. Why? Because greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. The knavish tricks will always be confounded. In addition, even a small child can see that curbing our internet access, spying on us constantly and restricting our freedoms will never keep us safe, so enough already. Besides, if one human being built it, another one can find a way around it and you can’t put the entire human race in internment camps.

So today I say to you all: Go to your constituencies and have a terrific, safe weekend.

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