Up, Up, and Away!

In a week remarkable for its examples of human perfidy and treachery, I have been cheered up immensely by my scientific friends. Yep, eggheads to the rescue once again. Step forward,  Federica Bertocchini of the Institute of Biomedicine and Biotechnology of Cantabria who discovered that the Greater Wax Moth loves nothing better than to chomp on polyethylene. This opens up the possibility that scientists can isolate the chemical/enzyme that the moth employs, thereby helping us to consume the Everest of plastic rubbish that we so carelessly dump all over our planet. The ridiculous idea perpetrated in the media that it takes 100 years (or is a 1000?) for one plastic carrier bag to be degraded is of course laughable as anyone with eyes can see. Walking around London, I have often seen carrier bags doing their American Beauty thing in the parks, and they are reduced to debris in much less than 100 years. Furthermore, a little experiment of your own will prove me right. Put one of these bags in a very dry and warm environment (say a kitchen drawer!) and the little suckers are reduced to friable dust in no time.

Next is Richard Browning who is a scientist in the old sense of the word — an inventor who dabbles privately in the mould of Faraday, Newton, Curie  and the other guys and gals in the band. He has finally invented the jet boots I’ve been waiting for all my life. We’ve been promised boots that will help us to fly for aeons, and the scientists have badly let us down, concentrating on trifles like curing disease and providing heating, water and avocado on toast. Pah! What we want is the jet boots promised in renowned scientific journals such as DC and Marvel Comics. Mr Browning comes from the long line of nutters who will blow themselves up just to see if their crazy gadget works, and I salute him for it. From Pasteur testing penicillin on himself and his unsuspecting nearest and dearest, to Jenner and his dodgy smallpox trials, not leaving out Marie Curie who sadly died of radiation poisoning, these are the people who advance the human race in leaps and bounds, often taking their lives in their hands. The Guardian is needless to say very unhappy about this kind of thing, preferring their Malthusian doom and gloom version, informing us that these moths will take over the world and kill every bee and insect. Woe, woe, and thrice woe! Er, no not really. I’m pretty sure that if the tests work, the plan isn’t to release millions of them into the wild, devouring all plastic as they move across the earth. Perhaps we may try using them in recycling plants instead assuming the enzymes/chemicals can’t be isolated – just a thought, geniuses.

So, science to the rescue. That’s my boys, and gals. Pure science doesn’t lie or cheat, although scientists may do so, finessing those figures a little bit…..That is the whole point of science, to rescue us from as much chaos as it can, and leave the stuff it can’t sort to God. Of course at least half the problems threatening the earth are caused by misapplied knowledge, and doubtless the greatest threat to the planet will probably be due to some maniac who decides to build a doomsday machine, just to see what will happen 🙂 Still I think we can all agree that Armageddon is a small price to pay for jet-propulsion boots. No? Well, please yourselves 🙂 Have a terrific, supersonic weekend.