Guernsey Pastoral

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I am a town mouse, no doubt about it. If I don’t have 10 million people around me, I start wondering if rapture has come and left me behind. Even London can feel too quiet: Manhattan, now you’re talking. Lagos, even better. There are some places which make me extremely appreciative of the quieter life, and Guernsey is one of them. All the images from this post are of places I’ve passed as I’ve ambled to work in the morning. Beauteous, non?

Obviously that does not include the picture of the fabulous repast. Although, come to think of it, if there were stands with amazing food on every corner, Guernsey would be paradise 🙂 …………

No, the food is the handiwork of Mona the Masterchef, and jolly good it was too. So, big shout going out to the Guernsias. By the way, Bob took my previous joke and came back with its excellent riposte:

Q: What do you call a man with a spade on his head?                              A: Doug

Q: What do you call a man without a spade in his head?                      A: Douglas

Just a few things the Guernsey crew need to be aware of:

  • Carol, please do not let me have to carry out the threat to electrify your new sofa. GET UP!!!, and please tell Allie she can’t escape the madness just by being the voice of reason. The rhythm’s gonna get her too in the end. It’s like a Zombie apocalypse
  • Mona, kielbasa is NOT a food group. Neither is tequila. Monika please stop encouraging her
  • Denni, one unit of alcohol is never, ever, measured in gallons. Sorry to break your heart, but it’s true
  • Maxine, sooner or later, I’m going to catch your clone in the act, or at least find your teleportation device. It’s only a matter of time
  • I can’t go away without thanking Miss Darling for her cat picture, a veritable masterpiece;  and of course a rendition of my chant: Kayleigh, Kayleigh, Kayleigh

I leave you with a joke worthy of the Bobmeister himself:

Q: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?                                  A : Tequila

Apologies to all Mexicans everywhere. Please do not write in.

 

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Purple Prose

 

Search for Enlightenment by Simon Gudgeon. Bronze, limited edition of 5. 2.2 metres high

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This blog is not much given to dealing with the latest micro-trend or celeb-worship but Prince was special. I saw him in concert three times and he was always superfantabuloustic. That wonderful mix of musical virtuosity, craziness, and sheer, raw talent does not occur all that often, as even the most cursory examination of the current music chart will show. It was just incredible to see someone making the most of his gifts with such verve and style. I overheard a conversation at the hotel today, where one guest was telling another that Prince had died. When he was asked ‘which prince?,’ he replied ‘the musician’. I thought to myself, ‘Yep, that’s right; not the popstar or singer or music mogul. A musician – the real deal’. That’s exactly what he was, and his riffs are still being referenced in young artistes’ work today.

So, we are having a purple day in honour of the Purple One today. To all my fellow Prince fans who attended the concerts and listened to the music with me, the music lives on. I know Roya, Folabi and Reema will be as saddened as I am even though we didn’t personally know the man. So, farewell Prince. May flights of angels guide you to your rest, as I hope they will do for me when I skedaddle and leave these shores behind. I hope I can leave behind a legacy of having done at least one thing as well as he made music. Redeem the time, because the days are evil. I wish you all a weekend filled with beauty and laughter and joy.

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Panama Palaver

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Here I am in sunny Guernsey once again. It is a complete coincidence that I have visited both Jersey and Guernsey in the months of the Panama Papers. Honest, M’Lud. That house in the picture above is one that I pass on my amble to work daily. I want that garden moved to London in its entirety, stat. Having had a crazy time just before I left London, this is a bit of a rest cure quite frankly. In that spirit, I’m posting images of things that are making me smile at the moment. Just to be extra-contrary, I’ve decided to include some posters about the joy of wearing black just as spring is approaching.

via bon appetit magazinevia glamour magazine

Excellent things about Guernsey so far:

  • Carol’s crazy story about how her newly-wedded husband pushed her into the Caribbean Sea as a lark straight after their wedding, to the consternation of the terrifyingly stern officiating minister– YOU WILL TAKE THIS MAN AS YOUR LAWFUL HUSBAND…… Pure awesomeness
  • Seeing my Guernsey crew again
  • Bob’s terrible alleged jokes. They should carry a health warning. Here’s one for you Bob– ‘What do you call a man with a spade in his head?’ ‘Doug’
  • A fabulous steak dinner at the Doghouse restaurant with Mona (the Bearnaise sauce is ace) only to be pursued down the road under suspicion of absconding without paying. Excellent: so cool that I can still be suspected of being a blagger
  • Monika’s lovely coat which I’m sure she is going to give me–right, Monika?????? Monika?  🙂
  • Harriet’s toe-nibbling ferrets. Don’t ask–it’s as bad as you imagine. Trust me

 

via open blank page via zsa zsa bellagio pop

That’s Guernsey for you. A highly recommended antidote to the District line and the stress of London life. Book you trip, NOW, as Carol’s minister pal would say.

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Enigma in a riddle…..

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My nephew and I have an ongoing debate where I insist that time as perceived by humans is an artificial construct (which it is!), and he insists it’s not. Anyway, I was watching Agents of Shield (season 3, episode 15) and it had the simplest explanation of how you cannot go back in time to change the future that I have ever seen. Check it out.

It made me think about the space-time continuum which I find equally fascinating and headache-inducing. However, I had a thought….. Although I have the tendency to mock M-theory and its 11 dimensions (mainly to provoke the physicists I know), looking at the manifold models theorized by physicists reminded me of how strings of amino acids get folded to become proteins. This  folding being on the sub-atomic level in the cosmos, we may not have the equipment to confirm the structures yet. But, would that account for the extra mass that is attributed to dark matter? The particles we should be searching for may not be as small as we believe so we are looking in the wrong plane, so to speak….

It also reminds me of nervous transmission – the way nerve impulses travel along axons and then from dendrite to dendrite (or directly if axons are not present), and how the message is transmitted via synapses, all without physical contact between the parts. Maybe that’s how quantum mechanics works, and how quantum entanglement (or spooky action at a distance) is possible. The particles aren’t crossing big distances in a linear fashion, they’re jumping from fold to fold. Ultimately, it suggests that space may indeed be foldable and we can travel at warp speeds i.e faster than light. Nirvana for all Trekkies and nerds everywhere. What does this have to do with skincare products? Nothing whatsoever, but it’s my blog so I’m going to indulge myself  and give any scientists reading this a good laugh at any rate 🙂 Besides, it’s 1a.m and I’ll keep thinking about this wretched stuff if I don’t write it down.

Today’s pictures are of pretty cool stuff that I like:

  • An egg drilled with tiny holes
  • The natural state of the element Bismuth. The iridescence automatically forms as the element is oxidised on exposure to atmospheric oxygen. That cubic/angular shape of the crystals is also naturally-occuring
  • The Tiger Stone brick-laying machine. I want one, right now!
  • Mechanism for a Patek Phillipe watch
  • Coins hanging off the edge of a table with no support. Try it, it works

Hope you have a day full of wonder and magic.

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Tickle Your Fancy

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The latest news from our friends in the scientific world, this time from the neuroscientists. I love neuroscientists – the only scientists crazier than them are my good friends the physicists, although chemists can also be very good value for money as they love blowing stuff up so much.

Anyway, the good news according to the guys and gals from the University of Lille is that there is a certain proportion of the population who are able to tickle themselves and make themselves laugh. Hitherto, it had been thought that this was impossible. I think we can all agree that this is a significant discovery. Actually, it’s not as useless as it may appear, all this research helps to map the brain, about which organ we presently pretty much know diddly-squat to use the correct scientific terminology.

The bad news is that the ability to self-tickle has been linked to a type of schizotypy, essentially a mild version of behavioural traits seen in schizophrenia. Terrific. It makes sense of course because I would posit that the ability to self-tickle, in effect surprise oneself, requires a certain detachment from the psyche that is often observed in schizophrenia and other dissociative illnesses. This does not mean that the ability is a precursor to the illness so if you can self-tickle, chillax and roll with it.

My favourite part is how the experiment was carried out. The scientists found volunteers who had scored highly for schizotypal personality traits and, wait for it – told them to tickle themselves with a paintbrush while wearing a mask. Now, is it just me? Can you imagine walking into the lab in the middle of that experiment? Pure awesomeness. I wouldn’t say you have to be insane to be a neuroscientist, but I bet it helps…. Today’s images are of bright, shiny, new products being previewed at Salone di Mobile in Milan this month. I do not vouch for the sanity of the designers but I can attest as to their talent. Have a good one.

(photos: cabinet by DesignApplause; lights by Tom Dixon; lights by Tom Dixon & Studio Front; cabinet by Campana Brothers)

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